135kg - 67kg


Monday December 28th 2011

Last night mum phoned (Also a gastric bander) and said in the past couple of months she has put on 5kg. For a 50kg something woman, that's a dress size. So she told me she was phoning the clinic to book an adjustment for tomorrow. And i jumped at the chance for her to book me in also. We thought it would be about a 4 week wait before we could be seen, giving me time to enjoy some more lonely nights of nachos, to much sour cream, a few rows of chocolate.. oh who am i kidding.. a block of chocolate and a couple of glasses of coke. 

A few more weeks of blaming my teenage looking skin on 'the heat' and 'not drinking enough water'

A few more weeks up my sleeve.

Mum phones at 9am and apparently tomorrow is the big day. Tomorrow my band is tightened. 

For those who doesn't know what this entails, it means 24-48 hours on liquids. Shakes, soups, water ect.. while your stomach adjusts to the pressure and being able to eat much less. 

Today i have indulged in my final sniff of chocolate, an enjoyable cold coke and nacho's for lunch (nachos is just the most simple thing to cook when sole parenting.. I dont even bother cooking 'proper' food for me anymore) and im eyeing off the rocky road ice cream in the fridge.. Which i really dont think i could stomach. And after spending today mentally preparing myself for a fresh start tomorrow, i am excited for whats to come.

Unlike a standard diet, the bonus of having your band adjusted is that you physically can not eat the things you used to. Therefore giving you that extra push to eat smaller portions and make better decisions. And that is what excites me!

I better go take my updated photo! Bigger motivator then any scale or measurement.

x N


How to adjust a gastric band 

My inspiration - My Mum

The Big Day

Take 5! Centerfold.. 

Holding the skirt im wearing below...

 Holding the shorts shes wearing below!

The healing of the scars.. 

'That Top'


                       FIRST EVER PAIR OF SKINNY LEG JEANS! SIZE 12!

October- 127.5kg
November-126.5kg < 1kg
December-119kg <7.5kg
January-115.1kg <3.9kg
Febuary-112.8kg < 2.8kg
March-109kg < 3.8kg
April-105kg< 4kg
May-101kg < 4kg
June-98kg < 3kg
July-95.1kg < 2.9kg
August-94kg < 1.1kg
September-92.1kg < 1.9kg
October-86.8kg < 5.3kg
November-82kg < 4.8kg
December-81kg < 1kg
January- 80kg < 1kg
February- 75kg < 5kg
March- 74.9kg < .1 kg
April- 73kg < 1.9kg
May- 71kg < 2kg
Fell Pregnant Had 1.5ml of fluid removed.
June- 72kg > 1kg
July- 74kg > 2kg Had another 1ml removed.
August- 75.6kg > 1.5kg
September- 78.0kg > 2.4kg

The following is all over the place! Ive had to copy it over from my old site, but ill get around to fixing it up.

I started blogging over at piczo back in 2006 before they vanished and shut my profile down. I am SO lucky i transfer my blogs over to wordpress just before they did! Here is the first 3ish years of my life as a gastric band patient.  If i have enough interest from other gastric bander or people on weightloss journeys, i dont mind updating this. 

Wednesday October the 4th 2006 , 5.15 pm.  
Mum phoned to say dad and herself would like to join me up to a privet health fund.. I was a bit curious as to why.. I pay for my own glasses.. i get free dental.. I was stumped.. Late last year Mum had Lap banding and had gone from 107kg to now just 65kg.
i had never thought of it for myself, for 2 reasons. 1 – The $$ factor.. I was $4500 and that was with being in a health fund.. FOR 12 months!
and 2- ive never thought of my self as being that over wight that ive needed surgery.. I fit in to normal clothes and live a normal life.. Well at least i thought i did.
Size 22-24 Isnt normal. Eating a whole pizza to my self isn’t normal.. shortness of breath and broken sleep isn’t normal.

I eventually asked mum why thy would want to put my into a health fund, She then said some thing that would make my head spin..
Nan wants to pay for my surgery and there is no waiting list as i am on there health fund.
I was driving at the time and had to pull over.
Why??? why me? I didn’t even know any thing about it, let alone think i needed it!
So i said id sleep on it , when i got home i joined a chat forum on people who have been banded or are waiting on being banded..
My thoughts soon changed.
There were people on there who were desperate for the surgery and there were people who had just had it done. Then a wonderful lady called Vicky asked if she could give me a call. She was 27 and had been banded on Monday. After talking to her for an hour or so, I was convinced.
I don’t want to struggle with my wight for the rest of my life.
I don’t want to deprive Jett of his childhood because of me either being unhealthy or depressed about being over weight. I want the most out of life.

Ive been handed this opportunity so im going to take it. Ive had the option of waiting until im completely ready or going ahead with it asap. Whether i do it in 1 month , 6 months or 12 months.. Nothings going to change except the numbers on the scale and i know now, there not going down.

So now all i have to do is book my surgery.

I realize that this isnt the easy way out. Lap Banding is only an extra tool to helping me begin a new and exiting life with Jett.

and i cant wait….

Wednsday October 1st 2006,10.43pmOne sleep to go, i dont think im going to sleep very well tonight, to many things to think about!
I have to drop Jett at day care in the morning, i think i might do it before his sleep, other wise i might run late.. then come home and stress out till mum and dad and ryan get here, There going to take my camera so they can get pics for the scrapbook. i took photos tonight and thats the last time i want to see photos of me like that again.
Tonight i was on the phone to anita eating spare ribs, was the last thing on my list that i wanted to do, they were so yummy, Wont be eating those for a while!!
there were so many things i wanted to eat before tomorrow, i think ive had more then my fair share tho!!

the only thing i really hope for is that im not in to much pain tomorrow, Jett will be coming home saturday morning and i worry i wont be able to look after him..
I guess i will know tomorrow…
Time to attempt to get some sleep!!
I could talk on the forum to those girls all night!!

Sunday, NOVEMBER 5th 2006, 9.05am
Its all over, I had the surgery on thursday but the nurse said they class friday as day 1 so im now day 3 and the sholder tip and neck pain is just starting to go away, I thought id write an entry as i seem to be forgeting small things about what happened.
We arrived at the hospital at 11 oc dad dropped me mum and ryan off and had to do a couple of things then he came back, i was taken to surgery around 12.30 , i freaked out a little and i was shaking so much they couldnt put my drip in very well, so they put me under then put it in, I was very nervous and had a bit of a panic attack, Dr layani was in the room when i went in and the team was great, they reassured me i was going to be fine and before i knew it i was waking up in recovery, i had a bit of a reaction to the morphhine but i always do, makes me so itchy so i scratched and scratched till they knocked me back out again :) then i woke up in my room where mum and dad were waiting.
For the first 2 days i had Really bad sholder and neck pain, Sarah brought round some De-gas and pepperment tea which helped a little, but only burping really helped. My tummy is still so tender and getting up and down really hurts, but i can see that slowly its getting better, im trying to do my best with jett, i hope he understands :(
ive been sticking to exactly what the dietitions plan is, i make up my optifast and chill it in the fridge for when i get a bit hungery other wise i have my juice and water.. I can start having tea and coffee now, but i dont really feel like it.
Im still taking my capadex religously, really helps with the pain and de-gas in the morning, lunch and night.
I have lost 4 kg, from when i was weighed before i went in, i think that is just crazy!!
Im not going to weigh my self all the time, maby every monday, but will do monthly updates in here..
Well thats it, Life starts now!

Sunday 7th of October 2007 , 11.25am
Well ive been asked about my exercise a fair bit, and il be compleatly honest.
I dont exercise very much at all.
(blanche is going to kill me! lol)
I exercised my butt off before the GC marathon, but now its gone down hill. I walk about 3km a week.. thats pretty much 1 day of exercise which is a walk from one end of my beach to the other, Mind you its pushing a 6kg pram and a 15kg baby.. so that might make a differance. I do little things that i think may help tone certin areas but its just everyday things, like walking up and down my 3 flights of stairs at least 4 times a day with a 15 kg baby in my arms and Bags and bags of shopping… I run around the park with him.. we play in the house for hours.. so its more then i was doing with him but i dont think its really classed as regular exercise..
I do get bored with exerciseing, and if i was asked by someone “did you have to exercise to lose your weight” i would say , No. Because i havnt.
I dont regualy go to the gym and i dont walk every day.
The biggest downfall with me not exercising is excess skin. Not loose of saggy granny skin.. more like , hmmm.. loose skin i guess.. Ive got photos of my arms on the Battle Wonds page. Thats what im talking about.
And now my legs. Ive really got to get walking and toning.. cause i wanna have HOT legs! haha
Well a friend of mine came over last night, hes the lead singer of 2 local bands , he brought me over the bands shirts and for the first time in my life ….. drum roll please… I took hot pickies of myself…lmao…
My mum will have a fit if she see’s them!
Ill show you a sneek peek..
Thats about all from me… Jetts dad is on his way over today, im going to have a serious talk to him about haveing jett over the weekends…
Have an awesome weekend people!
xx Nic

Monday 12th of November 2007, 6.30 pm
Well, im feeling a little less seedy.. Shane cooked a Fantabulous dinner last night… then we just crashed. He had a gig saturday night and drove home from toowoomba at 2am in the morning.. silly kid!
Any ways, i found my skinny clothes from 5 years ago this morning, Some mini skirts, some jeans, pants, tops… and i thought they would fit me by now!!! THERE TO FRIGGEN BIG! i was so upset! i bought a pair or Jaquie E jeans about 2 years ago, cost me about $40.. down from about $90.. i lent them to my friend to wear once, then packed them in wth the skinny clothes in hope i would fit in to the one day.. Now there to big :-( …   I also found my diary from about 2 years ago.. Its been a really good read.. a little sad that i use to think so badly about my self.   My last entry says…
Dear Diary ,
Im literally getting bigger and bigger, Im so fat i cant even fit in to a size 22!
Its gone beyond a joke. I have no idea what to do. It hurts.
My stomach is so big its hanging down now. Its feral.
I want to start jogging but i know i wont. Im so unhealthy. Im crying while i write this.
I cant handle this anymore.
Goodnight, Nicole.
SO yeah… If it wasnt for my Gastric band.. I would still be her. I have NO doubt about it. My band is My best friend, I trust it and i work with it. I cant speak more highly about the Gastric band, even to the point where if someones thinking about getting it done i dont know why they just dont go to it! Theres nothing to think about. DO IT!
well… honestly im not really in journal writing mood… but i just wanna show some pickies of me and my man… I havent put any up cause i didnt know if he wanted me to… but he keeps asking if im going to…so… Here you go… Heres my Shane :-)
x Nic
Thursday the 14th of November 2007. 11.54am

Friday the 16th 2007, 8.45am
Well im seriously kicking myself about the 2kg ive put on. Im now back up to 84kg. And im NOT impressed! So its up to me to do something about it.
Ive set myself a mini goel.
4kg in 8 days.
Go on….LAUGH! … i would too…. but i need it done.
I bought a pair of jeans from jay jays, a size 16.. Im an idiot i know.. but i thought i would get the 16 cause they are those skinny leg jeans, the SUPER tight ones that dont even allow you to sit down! but they look damn hot under boots. So i held them up, Jett was in one of his moods so i didnt try them on, and just bought them. Got home and showed my next door neighbour and a friend, and got the curled top lip from both of them..
Im used to them saying “wow! thats hot” But nope… They said they didnt look right.. It was just something about them. I was a little upset cause i really want to wear these to shanes gig on the 24th.
My jeans ive been wearing have gone from not being able to even go over my knees, so falling down.. so i was in need of a new pair!
I rang jay jays and explained i think i got the wrong jeans. I wanted the skinny leg ones that are super tight around my ankle so i can wear them under my boots, but mine flared a little at the bottom and thats not what i wanted.. she said she knew what i was talking about i must have picked up the straight leg ones… but i hadnt , id defenatly got the skinny legs.
So i went back in and she had a 16 and 14 for me, i tryed the 16 on again, and she said the problem was…. Im a 10! not a 16!
LMFAO! i nearly spat my iced mocha (with cream ..lol) all over her…
ME.. A.. 10… Noooooooooo
so i tryed the 14… to big..
then i tryed the 12.. That was better!
She wanted me to get the 10, but i just wasnt game enough right now.
So the 12 fits well. But i would LOVE to lose some weight around my legs just so i feel really good in them.
Now thats my goel.
Im going to do a Shit load of walking to tone my legs. Ill do my leg measurements today and post them under this, and then do it every second day.
As you know yesterday i fell off the wagon. so i decided to make the most of it while i was running along side it!
Katie came round with sushi for dinner, and then we had a cornetto…it was like tripple chocolate and i felt so sick after! but damn i enjoyed it! its been sooo long since i had icecream! and theres another 2 in the freezer AND a whole big block of dream chocolate in the pantry, and the best thing, im not even tempted to touch it!
I like setting little goels, It exites me!
Wish me luck! keep me motivated!
x Nic

Just a quick entry, Jetts awake.. so cant chat long… Just thought id share some replys i had to a post i made on one of the lap banding forums.. Its great that my site is helping so many people. It motivates me SO much!
Thank you. xx
By: unzippin_da_fatsuit
Re:Sharing my belly with a Band and a Ba …   Reply to this message
Nic I just wanted to tell you, that you were my insperation for getting a lap band… 12 and a bit months ago I was surfing the net looking at weight loss options and I stumbled onto your blog. I followed you with interest and logged on and looked at it every week and was amazed at how you changed each month. I read everything and was convinced there and then that this was for me…so thank you, you will save my life as I have type 2 diabeties and the cure is losing weight… with out the band I would eventually die from some complication of the disease…but not anymore thanks to your blog.
Congrats on the new life you are bringing into this world and to the incredible change you have made for yourself
By: trixiebelle08
Re:Sharing my belly with a Band and a Ba …   Reply to this message
Congratulations Nic. You are my inspiration to get my band done, you look amazing and your journal is incredible. I have emailed you a few times but dont know whether they went through? How is your family coping now with the loss of your Pa? I am sure he is always with you watching over you, your partner and family and your yet to be born little one! Tania xo
By: iamdoingit4me
Re:Sharing my belly with a Band and a Ba …   Reply to this message
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!wow ,what a climax to lovely journey ,congratulations on your new man ,new bub and good luck with the pregnancy ,lovely to fall pregnant ,so easy ,I am sure you will be a great mum/parents to this little one also ,love your journey and your gorgeous boy Jett , who I am sure will be a proud big brother ,(also congratulations to the proud grandma/pa and I am sure your granddad was involved in easing the pain of his loss all the best to you all ,you deserve it ,Doreen (I loved the mum and daughter article in take 5( might be worth giving them an update )keep us posted
By: skinny_me_will_be_free
Re:Sharing my belly with a Band and a Ba …   Reply to this message
Wow!!! You look stunning and congratulations. I read your story on your blog and you could be writing about me….
You give me hope & inspire me to think I can have the reality of being skinny…thank you and congrats.
Stay healthy,
By: heartsdesiresfantasy
Re:Sharing my belly with a Band and a Ba …   Reply to this message
Congradulations on the pregnancy its great to hear that another PCOS person has been able to have children after being banded.
I have had 2 children since being banded both boys and i was a sufferer of PCOS. Best advice is get all fluid removed from your band… try eat allot of fresh veg/ fruit and drink allot of water… and relax you need your energy and dont feel worried if you need a afternoon nap ! its a big help towards the end.
good luck and best wishes for the pregnancy keep us posted :)
By: lkeegan18@y7mail.com
Re:Sharing my belly with a Band and a Ba …   Reply to this message
Hi Nic,
Thanks for letting us into your lap band world with your website. You look so amazing …WOW. Congratulations!!! I am yet to have my operation, but your sight makes me know that this is really what i want.
Thank you for a great site.
By: reesbanded
Re:Sharing my belly with a Band and a Ba …   Reply to this message
Congratulations on your pregancy….you must be so excited. Thanks for your Piczo sight, I check it out all the time and really love readig your journal entries….please keep them up! You are a true inspiration!
By: felicerenee
Re:Sharing my belly with a Band and a Ba …   Reply to this message
YAY!!!!! Go Nic!!! Wonderful to see that you have come the full circle :-)
I look forward to seeing regular updated pics!
Love Felice
By: dreamscomingtrue08
Re:Sharing my belly with a Band and a Ba …   Reply to this message
Congratulations on your fantastic news!! Your weight loss is great and I’m sure that your new love and new baby will make your’s and Jett’s life complete…
Congrats and I look forward to following your new journey!!
By: adorabulll
Re:Sharing my belly with a Band and a Ba …   Reply to this message
Congratulations and I just had a look at your site. You have done so well are absolutely gorgeous. You should be so proud of your self and your achievements!
Jo xxx
By: bradleynoo
Re:Sharing my belly with a Band and a Ba …   Reply to this message
Nic i told you from the start that you would look STUNNING at the end and you do!!! I’m so jealous i could spit!!!!!! :) You look just unbelievable and you’re man is a VERY lucky boy. Congrats on the new little one on the way, i’m sure Jett will make a great big brother.
Cheers, Nic S
By: i_got_there
Re:Sharing my belly with a Band and a Ba …
Congrats Nic!
By: Nicole.
Sharing my belly with a Band and a Baby!
Hi everyone!!
Long time no chat for alot of us… lifes been hectic so i havnt been on here much..
I just thought id update that im 10 weeks pregnant thanks to my wonderful Lap Band!!
I was a sufferer of PCOS, and im now clear of all cysts thanks to the weightloss!
You can find my journey and now pregnancy journey at www.gunnabeaskinnymini.pi czo.com
Look forward to talking with you all!
xx nic xx
Sunday August 3rd 208 , 10.40am
Friday the 29th of August 2008, 9.25pm

Thursday 2nd of October 2008.
Ive been pretty depressed over my weight gain. Not depressed as i cry all the time or anything, but just really down in the dumps.
Even when i hit 70kf, i still didnt fel ‘Skinny’ But i felt alot differant to what i feel now. I feel like a blimp! My arms feel so big and my face is blowing up. Ive got 11 more weeks untill i have this baby and i just feel like im going to get bigger and bigger. And i honestly just cant stop eating!
I still bring up some of my foods most days and when i rang Anna in the surgery she suggested i come back in and get more fill removed. My then im going to want to eat more! Ohhhh it messes with my head so much :-(
Everyone is telling me just to accept it, im pregnant and its normal that im going to put on weight. I think im just very hormonal and not dealing with it very well. Im looking forward to being able to lose it fairley easy after the baby comes along. I just hope its not to much of a stuggle. Itl be the begining of yet another journey!
Im glad i keept a few of my size 14 clothes, I actually had them in a bag ready to give to a friend, but i just hadnt gotten around to seeing her, then my size 10-12 started getting a bit tight, so i thought id dig thro the bag and see what i could find.. And ive found some really comfy things to wear. Im going to go shopping for some sarongs in the next few weeks, its going to start warming up in the next couple of weeks and im just going to lounge around in a sarong and a singlet.
My tummy isnt as big as it was with jett, but i was alot heavier then i am now. I think i was about 95kg when i was this far along with jett.
Well, im not sure what else i need to update.. Ill update a bit more in my pregnancy journal as that seems to be taking over most of my time and thoughts these days.
xx Nic

I should SO be in bed right now! but after a question on my mother group about banding i thought i should come and check on how the site was going. I hadnt read the last few comments and they really made me smile! In all honesty. Ive met maby one or two of the 30,000+ people who veiw my website, and to hear comments from people who feel as tho they know me, makes me happy :-) Its true tho, you do know my life you know my family, you know my friends, you know my son! hahaha. This all started from me being bored. Me sitting at home trying to find something to do other then eat. And now look wheres its got me! its got me thousands of friends, smiles every time i log on, and helped me with losing all my weight.
A few months ago i was sitting at home reading over my blog and i started crying. Id hit nearly 70kg and thought my banding journey was over. Then i fell pregnant. I then relised, My banding journey will never be over! this is my new life. This is something i work with every single day. My band is my weightloss tool for life. Its not a pill i pop 3 times a day half an hour before meals, Its not a horrid shake i drink insted of food, and its certanly not a ‘diet’ where i write down my calories or points ive just eaten. This is life. I eat what i want when i want and my band tells me when enough is enough. What could possably be better then that? You tell me and ill get this band out and ill try another way. There is no other way. This band is my best mate for life.
I was sitting on the couch getting ready for bed and i thought, Oh maby ill go curl up in bed with my laptop and do a big entry on how lifes going.. So far ive backspaces typos over 100 times, because of the angle im laying on.. if moved from one side of the bed to the other, ive tryed laying on my belly..(not a good idea says the baby) now im laying on my back and the bubba is kicking the crap out of my laptop! So maby laying in bed wasnt such a good idea.
I had my 24 week hospital appointment today, it went really well, jett hurt the heart beat and went crazy! it was a bit to loud for him and he got a bit scared, but once we told him ‘it was the babys heart talking to him” he was all in for having a listen. we then went over to the shops to look for something for me to wear to one of my best friends weddings in 3 weeks and i found him his own medical kit! he loves it!!! the whole way home he was checking his tempreture, and when he got home i couldnt move. He did a Full Check up on me. hahaha.. Hes so amazing. He told me that the babys heart sounded fine. It wasnt ready to come out just yet and should be done by christmas! Hes adoreable!
Ive got some more info on the baby and the band, but ill update the other section with that.
Tomorrow ill chuck some more picture on too. I had another 3D scan, the photos are fantastic! ill scan those tomorrow too.
I think thats all ive really got to update on. My family is doing well, nans coping ok without grandad, not great, but ok. We take her out every sunday to the surf club, she calls a maxi cab and i meet her there and get her inside and up the lift in her wheel chair. Its a great day out for her and cost her nothing to get the free bus home. We still miss grandad so much tho. I know theres a little part of him in this baby, wether its a girl or a boy, its going to have grandad amazing soul. I just know it.
The ob’s said today “well im not sure of your last missed period, but i know that bubby was concieved on the 28th of March,which will make you due the 19th of december” and i said, “how do you know that?” and he said thats what all the scans say. and i said i thought i was due the 24th of december, and he said its defenatly the 18th, and thats going on 3 scans. Its so bazzare. I am blessed with a baby and my grandad leaves us all in one night. Crazy.
I think i should let this bubba get some sleep, all the typing is making it go crazy!
Thanks for following my journey everyone, Its far from finished.
xx Nic
Just a quick entry before i duck out for the day!
I did an interveiw for Good Life , its a tv show on channel 9 here on the gold coast! I thought i was just going to be a chat with a magazine, so i rocked up in everyday clothes.. hot chocolate in one hand.. and no make up on! lol
How wrong was i!!
The people who own the show were FANTASTIC! you guys were so layed back and made things so much easier and the lady who interveiwed me was AMAZING! i was packing it! but Carol and the team made me feel right at home.. like the always do!
So ill update you with the time and date of when its on .. if your lucky.. hahaha
Bubby is going really good. Due date originally was Xmas eve, but has now changed to the 18th, but when ever its ready to go, it will make a move. My pregnant while banded page is updated too.
Ill jump on again when i suss out how the camera works and download some more pics!
leave some comments people! i know your all still looking! hahaha
xx Nic
Last night i I lost my grandad last night.
I dont know how i feel.. Numb really. But it think its because of what happened.
10.30pm mum rang.. Said nan is with grandad and hes died. But it took her about 3 minutes to get it out because she couldnt even string a sentance together. Dad had gone to bed and turned his phone off and mum was at the surf club with friends so shane and i got ready and I rang nan straight away on the mobile to try see what was going on, while my next door neighbour stayed home with Jett and shane and i went to get mum.
Nan said shes alone and she cant move. Thats all i could get out of her.
I kept ringing back to keep her on the phone untill the ambulance got there, but she was beside herself. We got to mum who said she had rang an ambulance and sent the ambo’s to where she thought nan and grandad would be.
WHO IS GODS NAME takes there wife to BINGO on a COLD stormy night when there terrably sick! Grandad.
As we passed where they were parked at bingo, the ambo with grandad was ahead of us with there lights on and nan was next to us. Thank goodness for child locks or my mum would have been banging on the ambos door. we had to keep saying it wasnt them. but i think she knew it was.
We followed them to the hospital and i got do to wait outside with mum while i spoke to the nurse. When they got nan in to a wheel chair they let us in. Nan was drenched, and so cold, we did all we could to try warm her up.
They took us all in to a room where nan was trying to tell mum he was gone, but mum just kept yelling there working on him, hes going to be ok. He just cant breath properly, they will fix him, hes coming home.
The social worker, parametic and doctor came in and told us my grandad was pronounced dead at 11.40. There was nothing they could do.
My mum wouldnt believe it. she was screaming so loud they called security. My poor mum :-(
So 5 friggen security came in and tryed to made mum settle, which she wouldnt, i dont blame her.. she was in shock.
So they asked if mum wanted to see grandad and say goodbye, i knew once she got in there she wouldnt leave. 
My grandad still looked normal. He look very very ill, but he looked like he was just sleeping. I couldnt touch him, and i didnt say good bye. i just had to hold nan and listen to her.
Nan told me they had just finished bingo and some people helped her in to the car becuase it was pouring down with rain and grandad was stuggleing to get her in. They told grandad to hop in the car and they would help her. Once they were in, everyone went home. Nan asked grandad if he wanted his puffer cause he wasnt breathing very well, and he said he was fine. Then his heart stopped. Nan tryed to feel for a pulse but there was nothing. She can only use one arm so she didnt know if he was still breathing. She rang my mum, mum rang me and we set out to get mum and meet nan.
My nan sat with my grandad, for 20 minutes before the parametics got there. I dont even want to imagine what that was like for her. She told me, he died in her arms.
After 55 years of marrage, my nan doesnt know how to go on. She is compleatly dependant on grandad, he does everything.
Ive just spoken to mum, she knows whats hapened but doesnt remember much, its all a blur. 
Shes just about to ring the social worker so we can say our goodbyes again at a veiwing.
I still havnt told my grandad how much he ment to me, That everytime i was with him and saw how determand he was to be the best grandad , dad and husband i prayed i would meet and spend the rest of my life with someone just like him. Hes the ideal perfect husband. For sickness and in health till death do us part. There wasnt anything he wouldnt do for my nan.
I need to be with him again, im being everyones rock and i need to deal with it too.
For those who know our family, we are tight knit. Theres never a day we dont speak, nearly every weekend were doing something together and we celebrate everyones birthdays (Grandad and i always together, we are 3 days apart) This is going to be hard to do without him.
Thanks for letting me get this out. Todays going to rough.
xx Nic
My throat is killing me :-(
Ive had a terrable head cold for nearly 2 weeks now. Ive hardly been able to eat anything, my weight is down to 73kg and ive had a shocking headache for 8 days, today is the first day it seems to be easing a little..
Today im going to start exercising! I need to tone my legs.
I bought a bike and weve put a baby seat on the back, so im going to ride from north burliegh to burliegh heads and back, its about 3km. not far, but a nice ride along the beach path.
Other then that things are going really well.. i cant believe i actually lost weight over easter! All that chocolate!! Mmmmmmm
Ive been talking to a friend on msn called Bec, she got my addy off here and added me to msn, she asked me a pretty good question last night..
She asked me what it felt like to be under my goal weight, and she said she cant wait to feel how it feels to be at her goal.
Well honestly… I dont feel much differant. Well i do… clothes wise and stuff.. but i think i would feel heaps differant if i was single and was going out getting heaps of attention off guys. But ive got an amazing partner who tells me everyday how great i look and ive got a great figure, so i dont need or want the attention from other people. I actually felt more secure being a bigger person.. I knew my flaws and i knew i was a bigger person and i was fine with that, Now that im much thinner i stress about my skin, and boobs and butt… i know i can change that, but its just getting the motivation to do it.
I remember ages ago i was saying in one of my entries , what happens when i hit my goal wieght and im STILL not happy… then what?
Well im there now… im under my goal by 4kg! and im stilllll not happy.
I need to learn to love my new body. I just dont know how.
I think someones weightloss journey is for life. You dont just hit a certin weight and BAM thats it, your happy.. I dont know if anyones ever compleatly happy.
But if you know how to love your body, flaws and all… let me know.. id like to start loveing myself.
Gooood Morning followers!
Sorry again for not updateing, For the last 2 days our net has been down , i cant figure out whats wrong with it, some days its fine, some days it wont connect, Driveing me nuts!
I took a couple of pics yesterday for this month, not extreamly good ones, but at least there going to be up, Annnnnd im wearing SHORTS!
Im down to 75 now ! past my goal of 77kg and aiming for about 70-72. Then i think ill get a bit of fill out. Just so i can finally enjoy the finer foods..hahahahah…
My Birthday was pretty good ! the rain held off so i was so happy about that. We had a nice BBQ over at burliegh beach, where poor shane cooked for 2 hours! Cassie made a FANTASTIC spud salad and we had a really good afternoon driving and eating. That night me, shane, one of my best mates adam and shanes good mate Otis headed over to the shark bar to watch a really good band, then ran home in the rain.
Sunday we went to the surf club to celebrate with the family and sunday we had an early one cause we were BUGGERED! I got a massage and nail voucher and the DIRTY DANCING DVD!!! off shane for my birthday :-)
and this beautiful braclet with “Finneys Princess” engraved on it for valentines day. So it was an awesome week for me !
Ok… im going to vent for a minute. I know ill probably get roasted for it but this is my site and im going to write what i like.
“Some one”… Not mentioning any names at all, has found my site. I never wanted this person to find my site because they have NEVER been supportive of my lap band. So this was MY journey and My way of showing people that the Lap band DOES work. now i feel like i cant express my self because of what there going to say.
This person isnt banded. has no intention of getting banded but i think they will now use my website to keep check of what im doing. I dont want to lock my site cause if i do it stop new people looking at it because you need to know the pass word.
So im standing my ground. Im going to leave this site open for everyone to see. I had a read thro all my comments and emails from people concidering getting banded and to know my journey has helped them so much has made me more determine to continue documenting how my life is with the band.
so yeah… To the person who has found my web site, I dont know how you could have found it. but for once , let me enjoy my journey, let me enjoy my life, because you of all people know i deserve it. Im supportive of everything you do and always have been. I dont need your support, i just need you to let me live my life.
Soooo on that note i might upload these picks and do another quick weigh!
xx Nic
Oh gosh! i hardly ever see this time of morning…
Jetts started sleeping in his bed. My little man has grown up… So insted of him waking at 7am and me being able to leave him in there to play till i wake up , he walks straight in to my room and wants cuddles. Its pretty cute tho, i hear the door creek a little, and then a little more, then his little head pops out of his room and quietly goes.. “mummy..you there?” ..lol
Its nice to get a cuddle when you just wake up. some mornings he jumps in tobed and has a chat with me and shane, sometimes he killing to get out and play with his cars..
Last night i crashed on the couch , i was fast asleep the shane rang to say he was coming home from brissie, he was ment to stay there the night but he came home insted. and brought with him a big bunch of flowers. so they ended up in the sink untill this morning cause i was Not getting up at midnight and putting them in a vase!! They look pretty up on the TV cabnet tho :-)
So anyways, I weighed this morning, i wasnt going to , but i did.. and gues what!!!
78kg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! one Kg off my goel weight! omg omg omg omg…
I seriously think i wouldnt mind getting to 72-73kgs.. Maby even by my birthday. what an awesome present!
K im off to the beach with jett so shane and his hangover and have some peace.
xx Nic
wow… my band has been SUPER tight the last few days…
pretty much everything i eat is getting stuck and for the last 2 nights ive had a tiny bit of heart burn.. i think im chewing it enough.. i dont think im being a lazy chewer.i dunno.. yesterday was a shocker! we spent the day in toowoomba with shanes family, (one of shanes random up and go decissions!) and i hardly ate a thing! i had a bite of muffin for breaky and half a can of coke Zero, then a sip of coffee for lunch, and that wouldnt go down, just gave me chest pains, then a drank a whole bottle of water cause we were out haveing a look at there dam and i felt like i was going to pass out, then for dinner i had about 4 mouthfuls of dinner, then that was it, it was all just sitting there. i couldnt even finish my drink to wash it down.
So i didnt feel to crash hot driving 2 and a half hours home from toowoomba at 9oc at night!
so this morning i attempted food again.. still not much luck. ive had a jatz which i chewed really well but i can still feel it sitting there…
Anyways its made me drop under 80 which is good, im sitting nicely on 79kg.
Would LOVE to lose a bit more before my birthday, I remember last year i was hoping to get under 110kg…now im 79kg! wow! Thats awesome!
Just a quicky from me this morning to have a bit of a vent about my tight band, I might stick to fluids for a couple of days, maybe theres something blocking it. ill give it a chance to go down.. might even lose a bit more doing that too.
Shanes going well on his shakes, not sticking to it 100% but still going really well. hes lost 3.5kg now.   Well done baby.
Thats al for now!
x Nic
Its mums birthday today… The BIG 50 i think.. she was born in 1958.. so im guessing she is.. Ill have to ask dad.
Well im stumped as to what im going to do for my birthday.. Its on Feb 16th and ive had such bad experiances with my birthdays i really hate planning stuff now.
Last year was a flop! i was sick and no one remembered. Not even my family!
I rang dad in the morning and my brother answered and no happy birthday, then i spoke to dad… any nope, Nothing.. spoke to mum.. NOTHING..
no pressies, nooothing..
The year before i had a small party at home where about 5 people showed up then we had a blackout…
The year before that i had a 6month old baby… and living on my own…
and the year before that i was up the duff…
So i havnt had much luck with Birthdays, so im guessing this one wont be much differant :-(
I think i might just arrange a BBQ on the beach late afternoon. that way if only 10 people turn up then it really doesnt matter, its still going to be a nice night over there…
SO if anyone on the gold coast wants to join us over at burliegh beach on Saturday the 16th of feb.. Your more then welcome ! :-)
Well thats about all from me, Mr Shane has just woken up and were talking Birthdays.
Take care everyone! and update me with how your bands treating you!
x Nic
Well its been just over a month since i last updated, We didnt have the net for about 3 weeks, and then had damn dial up till our broadband modem arrived, so now its all up and running and im getting back to my journey.
Since then those skinny leg jeans have had more then there fair share of use, another few Kg’s and ill be able to drop another size!!
Im borderline 80-79kg… I would have clicked over to 79 this morning but i ate a little bit of naughty food at the movies yesterday.. AND i went to sizzler for lunch..
Did you bandettes know if you tell the resturaunt your eating at that you have gastric banding you will get in for a kids price! Ive been doing it even since i had my band put in but noone knew you could do it!! haha
I get is for a kids price of like $6.95 at sizzler! and the girl who served me has the band too!!! AND she was banded by my surgen, so hopefully she gets intouch with him and finds my website so we can talk some more and have a $6.95 lunch together..lol
I dropped to 78kg the other day!! but went back up after i had a maxibon and a slurpee.. Meh, i really dont care tho! im still watching what i eat, but il never ever go on a diet again.
I still have a fat brain tho.. for those of you know dont know what a fat brain is… its my mums term she uses because your brain still tells you your fat. i HATE my legs.. HATE THEM! i know all i have to do is walk walk walk.. but its so damn boring…. so feel free to give me a bit of motivation and let me know how youve trimmed up your legs..
My poor shane, Ive got him on to diet shakes.. hes doing SOOO well.. im the proudest girlfriend. hes lost 1.6kg AND he gave up smoking on the same day. he has the 2 shakes and some fruit during the day and i make a yummo salad and meat for dinner. Hes so great. Im behind him 110% with it!
Things are still amazing between us. Hes wonderful, he treats jett and i like were all that matters, hes helping me raise jett and i appreciate it so much. ( I cant wait to have more kidlets!! i was so scared about having more because i didnt want to do it on my own again. But now i know what its like to have help and i cant wait to have another 6 of them! hahaha )
Its my birthday in 23days! im 24 on the 16th of feb.. id love to lose at least another 2 or 3 before my bday, Ive been back at the gym, im really likeing it. Its been so hot on the gold coast so i love going there to get away from the heat. I go to Fitness First, its like a little city in there. I could spend hours there. Im off again in the morning after work.
well im not sure what else to write, ill go thro my pages and update everything.
Thanks everyone so much for your comments and support. I recieved an email from a girl who nearly made me cry.. Her name is Alicia… and i hope she doesnt mind but im going to show you her email..
Dear Nicole,
My names Alicia. I’m 19 years old and live in Bris and i just wanted to input my little bit of fan mail to you because for one, youve done such a great job of losing all that weight, secondly for having some balls for putting your progress up on a website and third, for showing overweight people everywhere that they can do it too while maintaining a happy and normal lifestyle.
you are actually my inspiration. i came across your site one day while looking up lap-banding and i read your whole journal in one night. i was hooked. i almost cried at your recent result because thats who i wanted to be.
ive never ever been skinny past the age of 11. i used to wake up believing i was skinny but as soon as i looked in the mirror my gut would poke its head out at me and say “no you’re not!!!”. ive been to dieticians, done every stupid fad diet in the world and taken more pills than i can count on my fingers and it just hasnt worked. i literally gave up until i saw your site and saw that there actually was a way out of this without ruining myself like i have been doing.
so i booked an appointment with a doctor who specialises in lap banding. and now im going for it on valentines day this year. im sooo f**king nervous, but at the same time i know ill be ok because ive got your website to lift me up when i ever feel down about it.
so all in all, thanks nicole, because youre the one who opened my eyes. and i cant wait to be a goddamn skinny minny!
take care,
Alicia xx
Thanks so much alicia… i replied to your email and your pretty much the reason im getting my ass in to gear and showing eveyone im not going to stop till im happy with my apperance.
Some of my friends are happy being 80-85kgs because theyve lost 20+kgs… but im not happy. I want to be able to strut in what im wearing and feel amazing, I may look good to others but im not 150% happy with my self.
Anyways, im going to go fix up these pages for everyone to have a look at. and ill make sure i update again when 79kg hangs around!
x Nic
well… this mango just doesnt like my band… Or my band doesnt like mango.. either way there fight to either keep it out or squeeze it thru.
There we go… a little bit went thru.
Last friday before the wedding i had another Ml of fluid taken out of my band. I couldnt handle the heart burn and pain anymore. I was having sleepless nights every night and on thursday i was in aggony. I woke up at about 9.30pm after being in bed for about an hour and my mouth was full of water. It was like i had a drink of water before bed, then something was blocking my band which made all the water move back up. Then i went to breath and i couldnt. So i spent the rest of the night till 8.30 in the morning up right on the couch. When shane woke up i told him i needed to get back to the hospital. so off we went… Anna was soooooo great! she got costa to take some fill out down in the recovery room in the hospital, he then said he wanted me to get an xray done.. one of those swollows or something. i was ment to have it done today but i was held back at work, so ill make an appointment for next week. I honestly dont think i need it now. Ive had NO more heart burn, no more gurgleing in my tummy, that would last hours when i went to bed! and no more pain.
Im sort of happy that he took the whole 1ml out, cause at least i know i have .5ml to work with. If i felt like i was over eating i could go back for .5ml.
I weighed myself this morning… Ive put on 1.6kg. But i do have my monthly lady friends and i consumed a SHIT load of grog on saturday night so it doesnt suprise me. I text tenielle as soon as i weighed!   i was sooooo upset! but like she said, Its ok to fall off the wagon, we just jump back on tomorrow.
So i threw out my lunch, which was left over risotto, which tasted like crapola anyways, and im now sucking on the mango . The mango wants so badly to be eaten… but i think my band is scared its naughty food.. hahah so its trying to stop it from going down. I might have to have a bit of a chat to my band about good and bad foods.. cause she loves to let chocolate go down!
Right, jetts at kindy, Boofs at work, and i think i might strip down to my bra and undies and sunbake on the balcony! hahaha
Ill keep you posted on when i drop that 1.6kg. Im not happy about it!
x Nic
Im so next to get married!
*hint hint…nudge nudge*
Fantasic guy! had me laughing all night! You rock Nathan!
                            —- GUESS WHO CAUGHT THE BOUQUET!!! …MEEEEEE!! —-
(please keep in mind im writing this with Super long nails and a headache to kill! Ohhhhhh drink mixing!)
*****hhhhhappy Birthday Miss Stormy!…Yup she married the day before her Bday!)******
Mr and Mrs Pinkstone!!!!
And what an awesome wedding too!
She looked STUNNING! As you can see by the pics! Ok so this is how the day panned out. 9am i arrived at Storms to be greated by Erin and Kelda who were doing our hair and makeup. so i was up first. Had my hair straightened then makeup done. By 11am it was time to start getting dressed, After having a minor panic attack about my 2 puppies hanging out of my dress we hollywood taped them in but the boobies kept wanting to make a statement!   At 12.15pm we piled into the cars and left. The wedding wasnt untill 1.45pm but we had things to do…
MACCAS DRIVE THRU!!!! Woooot! so the 2 wedding cars went thro Maccas and we sat in the car park and ate untill 1.30, then it was full steam ahead.
We arrived at the chapple just in time… Stormy walked down the isle to an accostic version of Everlong by the Foo Fighters that nearly made me cry! you know how your trying to smile but your cheeks and shakeing and your just trying to bite your lip so that doesnt start to shake too… cause once that starts, its all over… You blubber like a baby!
Kerri walked down with bella… then me… then Nikki…. Then the now Mrs Pinkstone!
Was the QUICKEST ceremony ever!! Was done in under 6 minutes! lol
Just the way they wanted it…. In and Out!
We then went up to Kangaroo point for photos and more photos… They look great. The ones on my site are just on my camera… shes got some professional ones.
From there is was off to the Chalk hotel… AND the cricket had just finished! so it was packed with cricket fans, gave us a bit of a laugh tho.
But 7 i was hammered! WAAAAAAY to much to drink! then it was open bar for half an hour, due to an incident that i wont get in to, but they tryed to compensate by feeding us Grog!! hahahaha!!
We were getting 6 Jager bombs each and i was on the madori too! so you can imagine how leg-less i was!
Tenielle one of my bestest lap band buddies and her hubby came and picked me up when i couldnt even write a text message! and took me back to the safety of there home.. LOL.. Thanks so much guys! i reeeeally appriciate it!
Then that was it! it was all over… Ive left out all the boring for you, exiting for me parts.. but you can see by the pickies i had an awesome night!

xx Nic
Well… I got an awesome comment about my pics! lol
Thanks christie!
Some days i think its so funny, I have no idea who alot of my readers are. I pretty much know about 15 of my 24,000 people who have veiwed my profile! But you are all what keep me going! Seriously.
So yeah, This months pics are up. Ive still got about 10kg to go i think, Till im at my ideal weight. Not my recomended weight, MY ideal weight.
Shane is so amazing, Hes so supportive and positive about my band. He doesnt get the shits when it takes me an hour to eat a few mouthfulls of food, or when i make my self a big plate up for dinner and dont eat it. He just goes “theres no way your going to finish that”…. I just say..” I know ;-) …” Hahaha (its still nice to see a heap of yummy food on my plate, and jett pretty much eats half of it anyways)
My band is SUPER tight today, well actually it has been for the last couple of days, but today id have to say its been at its tightest. I had a small iced coffee for breakfast, which i had about 3 mouthfuls and that was it, it was all over. No more milk for me. It just sat in my tummy. Then lunch time i got home and heated up some risotto.. it was pretty much, chew and spew… (oh godh shanes gunna love that when he reads this!) Its soooo tight! So this arvo i shouted my self one of these lime cold icey drinks from gloria jeans while i was out picking up my new phone, I got my phone at 2.10 pm, its now 4.30 and ive still got exactly half left! and i got the smallest one they have..
SO i dont think im going to attempt dinner, Im just going to hang out with sez till shane finishes work then we can hit cold rock! Yummmo.
Lately at night ive wanted ice cream, Not one night have i actually had it, cause i drag my ass to bed before i convince my self ive only had a little bit to eat so im allowed to have some… WRONG! im NOT allowed to have ice cream at 10pm!
But im allowed to have it tuesday and thursday nights..lol
Ive had Shocking heart burn / reflux since my overfill. Every night about 11pm i wake up with acid in my throat..(well not real acid, but it might as well be!) Ive got to race out of bed and in to the kitchen have a glass of water and a mylanta! then i end up sleeping on the couch so im not laying flat, till about 1am then i crawl back in to bed… ANYONE else get this?
Im now on tablets that i take one in the morning half an hour before food and one at night before dinner, But i find it builds up all my gas and when im alseep ill do a burp or something and it brings up all my water and stuff and i feel like im either going to throw up or choke on my own water! Its really not cool hey! I just cant seem to win :-(
Oh … Shane and i got a Kitten! His name is Bach (pronounced Bark)
Ill stick a pic up of him when im done.. Hes sooooo cute! Damn annoying! but cute… I just want him to be an older so hes not so hypo!
Well thats about it from me, i should get started on my speech for tomorrow night. Im guest speaker again at Dr Layanis seminar.
Take care everyone!
x Nic
Hello followers!
Life is pretty great right now! Im still smitten with my new love.. Hes great.

On Friday we got a kitten! Hes adorable!
Check out that link If you want to have a look at him…hahaha
The weight is pretty steady, Im down to 83kg now. Another 5-ish and im at my goel i set for my self. But honestly i wouldnt mind losing a little more. Or like my mate katie said to me, i need to tone.
Storms wedding is in 1 DAYS! and we have new dresses… Its funny, when i look at myself in the mirror i see my self so differant then to when i see my self in a photo. I said to my friend this morning im starting my drop a dress size diet today for the wedding and she told me i was an idiot! I was shocked! she then told me ive lost enough weight… I dont think i have, I might google a photo of what i want to look like then get opinions from you guys on wether i have a chance of loking like that. I honestly think i do need to tone. My butt and my legs… SO if i go to the gym and work out on the tredmill my legs will tone up?
I want to look HOT in a tight pair of jeans.. even tho ive been told i do now, i still dont feel like i do. I see a huge differance when i look at photos of me, but when i look at myself i see ALOT of faults.
Im going to do some ringing around tomorrow about getting my boobs and arms done. If anyone who reads my site have had there arms done i would LOVE to see photos of your scaring! im worried the scaring is going to be bad. You can email me on missbettyboop_1@hotmail.com or add me to msn on the same address.
From my band-iversery im going to start the next chapter of my life. On November 2nd 2006 my life was turned around after having my lapband. The past year has been amazing. So on the 2nd of November 2007 is going to be another turn around. I want to be more happier. I want to be fun, and i want to be confident. Ive now got an awesome partner who deserves the Happy Nicole.
Jett loves the new mummy! we walk to the park, not drive. We walk to the shops, we stay at the park for hours, cause mummy doesnt need to go home and have a nap and something to eat. And jetts going to have that mummy forever.
On the 7th of november ive got another seminar for Dr layani. Im just as nervous as i was the last time!
But i think im a little more exited because i will be 12 months banded and nearly 50 kg gone! I should probably get started on my speech cause last time i wrote it the night before and i freaked!
Im now sitting on 83kg, a little up and a little down cause its the 3rd day of aunty flo’s stay.
And im going to start back at the gym tomorrow. I want to enjoy it like i was when i was going during training for the marathon. I was loving it! it was keeping me happy, it was helping me sleep and i was toning up.
I have an awesome gym, that i pay a fortune for, so i might as well get good use out of it.
Some days i put on clothes that i wouldnt have ever dreamt would fit me and there to big. I wish i had have taken photos of when they didnt fit! ACTUALLY i was talking to tenielle.. my banding buddy about the pics on here (scoll up) of me in that black dress.. OMG i thought i was sooo hot! as soon as im done on here im going to go put that dress on and take a photo! I wore that dress to my Ex’s bday party and i thought i looked so good! Lmfao! but a few weeks before that it was to tight!
Well i think ill end here cause i just went camera happy with updated photos!
So check out My Swimmers photos, and ill post some under my journal!
Thanks for reading, Talk soon
x Nic
Im OFFICALLY off the Market-Loved-Taken-Wanted-In a RELATIONSHIP!! lol
Ive met an AMAZING guy! …The “friend” who brought me over the Band shirt… IS now my man :-)
All this time ive been dating guys who are “older” then me.. I thought i needed the maturity of an older person so they would deal with a 2 year old as well as i would. But i was so wrong!
Ive dated guys between the ages of 25 and 32 and they have all made me feel like a house wife.
Then along came shane.
23, amazing person, Kind, Loving, FANTASTIC with jett, Lead singer of 2 bands, works 2 jobs, Makes me feel amazing EVERY day. Theres not been a day gone by that he hasnt said something to me to make my heart skip a beat.
The way he looks at me is crazy. Ive never felt these feelings of happiness in a hell of along time.
Ive loved 2 people in a relationship way in my life. The second person i didnt love for the right reasons. And the feelings that we have now are something very special.
Hes proud of me. He knows all my secrets. My good and bad, And i want him to know, I want him to take me for what i am. And he does.
Hes knows about my lapband and is 110% behind me about it. Hes seen my weight loss and thinks its great.
I really never thought about “love” at first sight. I thought i was something stupid that people could put into love songs and poems. Ive never had the feeling of Love at first sight. Untill the minute he walked in my front door.
Our eyes locked, He gave me his band shirt … (dirty diamonds) and we locked lips… That was all within 3 minutes of knowing each other. For the rest of the night we were hooked. Weve spent ONE day apart since knowing each other. It doesnt feel right not being togther.
Mum and dad and my brother and granparents met him on sunday. We went for lunch at the surf club, they think hes great, Mum and dad even invited us back over to there place for a BBQ that night where he and dad chatted about the simpsons! I didnt even know my dad watched the simpsons!!
Mum says hes defenatly not short of words. Hes a big talker..lol
Well… i think thats enough rambeling from me about the new guy..
The weightloss is stedy, im really trying not to drop to much more cause my dress for the wedding has been taken in, and i need to fit in perfectly.
Ill update again soon..
xx Nic
Wow… a whole month since my last update.
Firstly ill share something. I had a bit of a cry this morning. Ive got 9kg till my journey is over.
I actually think i might want to lose another 5kg when i hit my goel, but by the looks and feeling of things 5kg is a dress size for me now. It used to be 10kg, but when i lose 5kg i seem to drop a size. Yesterday to work i wore size 12 shorts a size small boob tube and a size 12 cardigan.. I remember walking in to a little bouteque at our local shops exactly a year ago and picking those shorts up and stearing at them. thinking i would need 3 pairs of these shorts to make them fit me. i remember getting them and wrapping them around one leg saying that would fit one leg another one would fit the other leg and id need another one to fit my bum. And now im wearing those shorts.
The past month has been crazy. Ive regained my social life. Ive been going out and meeting new people, Ive met a guy who i get along with really well and most of all im SO confident! I wear boots over jeans! i wear lowcut jeans, i show my arms, and i can sit down cross my legs and show a but of thigh ;-)
Im my last entry i was off to get a fill..
BAD IDEA… i asked for to much and had my first overfill.
But lets not go there…lol
Well the wedding is creeping up nice and slow.. giving me time to budge that weight. Ive got to get my dress to the seamstress so she can look at taking it in. shes going to have to take a fair bit in, but its such a gorgous dres its going to look great!… i got my shoes last week. ill take loads of pics.
“You getting nervous storm???”
I just spoke to mum on the phone and i actually got all choked up again about how much weight ive lost. I just cant wait to be at my goel. Its been hard work.
Those Non-lapband believers really need to take a step back and see its not a Cheaters way out, its not “easy” it takes alot of work and alot of willpower. but in the long run if you work with it, you will never see that weight again..
So. Today. 1 year from the date i took my first photo. and the day after i wrote my first journal entry, im 41kg lighter But 110% more confident then i ever thought i could possably be.
So on that note, im off to buy a new outfit for one of my best mates Birthday tomorrow night. Im going on search for size 12 ! Not size 24.
All of my followers are what keeps me going. I feel im not on my own. I have all of you for support. Without that i dont know if i would be where i am now.
x Nic
HOLY CRAP!! i havnt made an entry in here for over a month!
wow! sorry guys!
Ive been so hooked on this new mother group site… (BIG SHOUT OUT TO MY GIRLS!!)
And have a blog on there that ive been addicted to!
Its alot differant to my journal on here, i talk about differant stuff on there. not about my weightloss..
But yeah, ive been down cause my weight came to a full halt for about 3 weeks… but ive lost 2 kg this month…
Anyways…. (please dont yell at me people!)
But, im going for a minor ajustment this arvo.. i really want this weight gone, and thats the whole point of having the band is the freedom to play with it. I spoke to felicity this morning and shes going to get me in at 3 .
Il be honest, i know im ment to go on fluids for 48 hours or somthing after a fill, but i dont think i ever have. so this time im going to do it. soup for dinner and and up and go for breaky, and some soup for lunch and dinner..
I would LOVE to see 89kg on my scales by Monday..
Im interested in a certain someone whos going away for 3 weeks on monday.. *sob* so thats my little goel, 3 weeks to work my hardest to lose the kg’s.
ive been a bit slack at the gym, for stupid reasons too.. I usually drop jett at kindy then go, but ive been making plans after i drop him, so i dont want to go to the gym and get all sweaty, i shower and get dressed in the morning at head out for the day, fully skipping the gym.. Im going to walk again this arvo, i just find it a bit boreing, and jett getts cranky when we walk past all the swings and parks and he doesnt get to play. Its a lush day outside, so i should make the most of it, i might get my fill then walk along currumbin.
i think thats all for me.. a couple of personal issues in my life thats been bringing me down a little, but nothing that cant be sorted.
Sorry to keep you all hanging! ill try harder to keep you posted!
Ill let you know how my fill goes!
x Nic
Well ive just arrived home from the BIG BROTHER FINAL EVICTION!
wow! it was awesome!
AND…. as youve probably heard.. I had another brush with a famous person…another inspiration to those of us budgeing the buldge…
MARTY from the biggest loser!
He was sitting a few rows in front of us so i got a happy snap with him ( yes…i know… i look like a stunned mullet!)
Then when we were about to drive home he was walking up to the car, so i had a quick chat with him, told him how awesome he was…(while he held me hand…*sigh*)
So yeah… just a quick entry before i hit the sack…
Nighty night!
xx Nic
Attach Photo Here
well the home doctor came… Hacked away at my foot for about 45 minutes then when i couldnt take it anymore he goes ” i knew when i first got here and looked at it, you would have to go to the hospital”
UMMMMMMM!! WTF! why did you just hack at my foot with a friggen scalpal for 45 minutes????????
So off he went…. i rang the hospital and it was a 6 hour wait… NO WAY! so i rang my after hours surgery and it was only a 2 hour wait…. better then this pain i guess.. so i packed up our things and off jett and i went to the doctors…
an hour later he hit me with the local anasthetic 4 TIMES :-( ……. and cut the bastard out!
Wasnt what i thought…. I had 2 shards of wood… splinter type things and 2 blood clots..
he gave me 2 stiches and anitbiotics for 5 days, ive got to go have an ultrasound on tuesday to see if theres anything else in there and get the stiches out in 7 days.
Soooo im still not walking properly.. feel like im walking on my ankle, cause my foot is still numb. I bought come panadol rapid for when i wears off… wish me luck sleeping tonight!
xx Nic
Well im in agony, on thursday night there was a crash out the front of my units, so i was out there “bearfoot” diverting traffic out of the way of the crash…and yep… i got a chunk of glass in my foot.. WELL thats how i think the story goes.. I cant actually remember stepping on the glass… i do however remember jett smashing the glass jar of cream cheese on the floor in the kitchen, so that could be how ive managed to get glass in it.. i really dont know, But what i do know is IM IN PAIN! and its not nice. Its been like this for 4 days now and its killing me. I went to the after hours doctors yesterday with baby in tow, the wait was over an hour and a half, so i shook my head and walked out. Got home rang Medcall, the home doctors , took me 50minutes to finally get thro and they said the miami doctor isnt working tonight, hes sick.. DOCTORS DONT GET SICK!
so ive sat here again, another night, with this damn chunk of glass in my foot.
I know its moved cause i can no longer feel the lump, im just worried (after being told by so many people) That it can travel, and i really dont want it turning up anywhere its not ment to be!
so its the waiting game again, the rude lady on the phone said a couple of hours, it would have been quicker if hadnt questioned everything i said to her.
Now im sitting here with an aching foot and an aching head from a 2 year old that has got a HARD case of TERRABLE 2′s!
My lord! im not copeing very well with this age.. I wish i could video him and post it on you tube, just so i can get some sympathy!
Right now hes over at the tv cabnet putting out all his blocks and slamming the door close, running over to me whinging and running back to the tv cabnet again, Oh wait, hes just pulled the cushion off the couch… and throw the pillows on the balcony.. now hes just put the trike (little bike up on the couch!) i know iknow, i should be disaplaning him… theres only so many times i can say “JETT THATS ENOUGH” or “SIT ON THE NAUGHTY CHAIR” right now this is mummy time, he can trash the house.. ill clean it up. i just need my sanity for a minute.
His dad is ment to be coming to see him today. note how ive said “ment to be” meaning i dont know wether hes going to be here on time or even at all. i wish he would just be here at 11 when he says he will be, not text me at 12.30 saying “my alarm didnt go off” GOD! its lunch time! your tummy should be grumbbeling so bad that it would have been just as good as an alarm clock. I just cant be bothered anymore, i used to text at 11.05 saying where are you… and not get a reply, now i just leave. I say 11, if hes not here by 11.15 im gone. If he doesnt have the respect to let me know prior to the time when hes ment to be here that hes going to be late, Then expect me to play that game as well. Enjoy your 20 minute drive to my house, cause youl be going straight back home.
WOW! vent over i think!
i was talking to sez on friday and im to scared to weigh my self… i had the fill on monday, but im scared if i havent lost any weight theres nothing i can do about it… im not going back for another fill..even tho i feel like i could go back for another .3 or .5 .. just to take the edge of what i can eat.. Im not hungery, but if i have something in front of me, i will eat it.
but on saying that, all i could eat last night was not even a half of a bit of fish and a bit of thin pasta salad that jett and i LOVE! get it from bilo on the gold coast, one of those serve your self granny may salad bars… YUMMO
43 minutes since i rang the doc… maby i should stick my foot in a bucket of warm water to soften the skin. i really dont want him to hack in to my foot when the skin on the bottom is pretty tough… i wounder if they carru local anethestic with them?
what if hes not a nice doctor? oh gosh.. now im stressed.. Oh well STRESSED backwards is DESSERTS. I really should have breakfast before i think about dessert!
weve been a few times before, but not to the finale! i actually think it would be better sitting at home watching it, but the atmosphere of being there and seeing the house mate its awesome!
will let you all know how i go with the foot hacking!
xx Nic and glass..
Firstly ive updated a lot on my site-
New Page on lyndall
New page on me in my togs… Eeeekk( open if you dare)
Updated monthly pics, The new top pics &   New scar pics..
So have a gees at that too…
I went for my fill today…. I had 1ml out while i was training so i wanted it back..It was mine in the first place…hahaha…
I think i needed it. And im sitting here now with a slice of jarlsburg cheese just having nibbles…. i defenatly feel the new resriction!
While i was at the surgery i met 2 really nice people, I think the girls name was jessica..(Hi Jessica… hopefully your mum gave you the link to my site and youve decided to have a look… )
As far as i know she was banded in december. They live in Gunsiwindi (excuse the shocking spelling) so they travel 4 hours down to see Dr L..
Her mum seemed really nice and Careing and trying to do whats best for her daughter. I know it must me hard on mum and dads to see there child / children go thro something like Gastric banding. But i just hope they know its a life changing op, and were greatful for there understanding.
They also had the copy of Take 5 in there… i was having a flick thro when jett started saying all the names of the people in my family and pointing to the magazine… a few people caught on that i was in there, the lady in front said, Do you have family in the magazine, So i showed her..she and her dad and sister have had it done. She was amazed at the weight mum and i have lost.
So now im just sitting at home, jetts got the flu and im still chewing on that cheese watching oprah…
I start training again tomorrow morning with my friend so im hopeing for a huge drop in weight over the next few weeks…
fingers crossed for me..
xx Nic
Well its getting better……..!!
cant wait to weigh again in the morning! ive had 4 cruskits and 2 glasses of water… but i still only weighed……….
(photo coming…hehehe)
down from 98/99kg ! thats a HUGE drop!
How grand is that!!   I can change my ticker now!
Well todays not much better then yesterday… id probably say it could even be a bit worse…
Im just so down, im eating untill i feel like im going to be sick. I just had 2 milky bars and an iced coffee and feel so damn sick.
This isnt how it should be…. my journey should be fun… exiting… Full of , but its not, well this week its not.
I cant wait for my fill on monday. I wish i could do it myself..hahaha! I had 1ml taken out while i was training, so im going to get them to put back in the 1ml + 10ml!!
so im sucking water out of a flannel! Just joking…
WELLLLLL im going to hit the sack, just another vent.
I really hope my moodiness doesnt turn anyone off being banded, its by far the best thing ive ever done, but it doesnt change other issues in your life.Thats out of your bands control.
Night all
xx Nic
Crap….16 weeks and 3 days till Storm & Bens wedding… and 20 kg to go…. Im falling behind… Hopefully with the next fill i can kick 2kg in the butt straight away and when Aunty Flo leaves i wont being craving so much and will kick another 2 kg there….
Ive really gotta get my butt in to gear…
Well! firstly…sorry to all the people who have been following my journey… ive been very very very slack on letting you knwo how im going. i think im to busy following every body else journey cause im not doing to well.
im still stuck on 98kg i think ive only seen 97.9 once, and its very very upsetting. im going for a fill on monday at 1pm cause i need to start working with my band again. I havent been to see the dietition because my wieght hasnt moved since may. im still eating smaller amounts of food but im also eating a shit load of bad foods, chocolate, flavored milk, chips…. your name it.. i want it if it goes down.
I relised this morning tho that its a tad bit embarressing telling all the people who read this about my weight struggles, but noone else will listen to me, so i guess this is my only outlet.
I dont know if even when i get to my goel weight that im going to be a happier person, im not sure if my weight is the main reason for my unhappieness, im upset with life in general. I have my good days, which are usually pretty good, then i have my Bad days where i just hit rock bottom. and im really starting to think my weight isnt the casue of that.
Im emotional eating. im not happy unless i know theres a mars bar in the freezer.. softdrink in the fridge or chips in the pantry.. and i just want that to go away. I havent exercised since the GC walk so maby thats got something to do with the way im feeling. I was going to go back to thre gym on monday then damn Aunty Flo (period) dropped in for the week and has knock me flat on my ass. Ohhh the pain…
My girlfriend joinned up to my gym and were going to go together. push each other. were going to start monday because thats when my membership starts up again…. and i get my fill.. maby a good day to start changeing the way i look at things too.
I guess im kinda sad to that i broke up with the guy im seeing… wont go into to much detail, but i recon he was a pretty good guy… feet on the ground, good job, treated jett and i really well, but my feelings for him werent as strong as his were to me, so i ended it. i guess thats got me pretty down too.
I just keep wondering, what if im a size 12 and still not happy with my life, then what?…. Plastic surgery…
Is it really about apperence? i think i need to start working on the insides..as well as the out side and find out where the real problem is…
well i dont know if its pms talking or really ho im feeling…. give me another 4 days and ill know….hahaha..
Ill get my recent monthly pics and put them up and i think ill spent a little more time on here Venting, seemed to have made me feel a bit better.
xx Nic
DOB: 2/11/06 – 6mnths -3wks and 2 days
Starting weight: 127.5 kgs
Now: 99.8 kgs !!
Goal: 77kg
Next mini goel: 97.5 kg – to have a loss of 30 kg
Loss so far: 27.7 kgs
Dr Laurent Layani- john flynn private- gold coast
Im pretty chuffed….can ya tell…lol… I jumped on the scales 3 diff times on 3 differant tiles in my kitchen! all came back 99.8kg! wooooo hoooo !!!
    100KG !!
Kat and i were just talking, and relised its 25 weeks till my mate stormy and bens wedding… and ive got 26 kg to kick….
hmmmmmmmm i recon i might just be able to reach my goel a week after my bandaversery….maby even on my actual date..
just got a bit exited and had to say something… wish me luck!
oh yeah, ive got my dietition appointment on tuesday at 10.45, find out how much mussel ive put on and how much weight ive lost since training..
excuse any typos…got my nails done and the damn things are so long…!
Well lots to talk about. Had training this morning, was great. trained with Jacquie whos also been banded, this is the second time weve trained together. the first time we trained we had to walk/jog from our gym to currumbin beach..up the mountain and back again.. WAS A KILLER!
so worth it tho. its kinda fun training with someone..makes it go a little faster. Jac has alot of fill in her band, so much she needs to puray her foods and drink liquids. She is on tony furguson, so i thought id give that celebrity slim a go. My band is so damn tight in the morning, she usually doesnt wake up till about 11, and i train at 8 in the morning so i need a suppliment so i dont feel like im going to pass out.
Celebrity slim seems pretty good. Cat from the biggest loser used it when she got out of the house. ill do a page on it so you can see what its about.
Mum has smashed her patella in her knee, she was working her knees to hard and it just shattered and he knee cap kept moving, she was operated on wedsnday and 1.30 and was back out that night, she seems to be doing pretty good, trying to walk on it , but this isnt the first time shes hurt her self…lol… she did so many sit ups that she cracked her rib…silly woman!
Ive still got 7 weeks left of training, and im still stuck on 101 Kg…. i just want to see 99.9 kg !! hahaha… hopefully these C/S shakes will help get there!   I just remember when i first had my op and was on opti-yuck for 7 days, i felt like i could do anything! it was great! the will power i had was amazing! and i lost 7kg in the first week!!!
On the 10th of november One of my god friends had asked me to be her bridesmad, that will be 12months and 1 week since i was banded…. i would LOVE to be at my goel weight! fingers crossed i guess!
I think thats about all from me… ill do that celebrity slim page… fix up my measurements on my pics page, take some pics of my scars and look for my belt!
xx nic
Well Yesterday was day 5 of my personal training. and i feel like ive been bashed LOL… my mussels are killing me. my arms are so sore, but its all been worth it.
My personal trainer Blanch, who owns a fantastic gym on the gold coast called PHYSICLLY INCLINED, Is AMAZING! She knows just how hard to push me and just what to say when im about to give up. and best of all we get along really well. She also has a 2 year old, so we talk about that alot too.
Ive been training Monday mornings from 8 till 9 Tuesday arvos From 4.30 till 5.30 and Friday mornings 8.30 till 9.30. Theres a wonderful lady in the creche that minds jett while i train.
The first class was a bit of an orientation thingy, where she made me do a whole heap of exercise, push ups sit ups..ect and then on my last day ill do it all again to see how much ive improved. Ill get the info off her when im done and show all of you on here.
Im going back to get a Ml of fluid out of my band before sydney. Ive got about 9 ml in a 10ml band and its just way to tight. im not eating enough and not having enough energy for training.
I really should do my measurements today for my april pics… ive been so busy i havnt got around to it.
I went to anzac at currumbin beach today, POWDERFINGER played 4 songs love. IM SO IN LOVE! I met a friend there who i hadnt seen in about 2 months and her jaw dropped when she saw me down the beach… guess thats gotta be a good thing. Concidering shes a RALPH model… hahah
On another note : my mouse is dure to have her babies tomorrow. The poor thing is as big as a house and has moved from her cramped little toilet roll size unit to a bigger house , the milk carton to make way for the little kiddies. Ill let you know how shw goes and how many she has!
Well i hope your all doing well. I think my platau has FINALLY ended! have been stuck on 103.8 for 2 weeks now, and have just dropped to 102.. and boarder lining 101… that goel of 100kg is on its way… BRING IT ON!
xx Over and out
WELL…..tomorro is the first day of my 11 week challange… My surgen is paying for his patients to be in the GOLD COAST MARATHON.. so weve got 11 weeks of personal training with the owner of a well known gym near home. I have 3 personal training sessions a week.
MONDAY: 2 hours in the gym from 8 till 10am
TUESDAY: 3km walk along the beach doing all the exercise equiptment along the way.
WEDNSDAY: Rest Day..
THURSDAY: “same as tuesday” 3 km walk again
FRIDAY: Spin class at my gym
So im reeeeeaaaaalllly exited.. just cause i know i cant get out of it.. its exercise that i have to do.
Even thio ive been going so well at my gym.
3 days a week for and hour and a half.
Im glad ive got someone there to work me hard , i find at the gym i get bored and move to another machine.. i know shes just going to drill me!
A bit like how the biggest losers train…but there harder and longer i guess… (maby i lose 7kg in one week…hahahaha)
I better be under 100kg when i get to sydney! hahahaha
Wish me luck for tomorro! 2 hours of sheer hell!
ill let you know how i go..
least my fingers wont be aching!
xxxx Nic
Well its exactly 5 months since my band entered my life. Im now 21.5 kg lighter. some days i feel it somedays i dont. Today i dont, i still feel like im 127.5 kg LOL… i went back for another ajustment , the doc said i am losing more then enough and only gave me a fill of .5ml but i think i need more…maby im all emotional cause i got my period.. i dont know..
i hadnt eaten ALL DAY, was so busy i just didnt get the chance, so for dinner i had 2 rice thins with some phili cheese and a small tin of tuna. and then i busted.. i had a can of coke and some potato chips. When i look at the bigger picture. really i havnt eaten very much. but i wish i hadnt eaten those chips.
still not much food intake for one day…
I joined the gym, i joined FITNESS FIRST. Cost an arm and a leg but its such an awesome gym and i have been going so it does seem worth it. so hopefully i will start to notice my arms and butt toning up.
my arms arm still so big. yuck.
my mini goal is to be under 100kg by the time i go down to stay with Kat in Sydney, i leave the 4th of may, so ive got
a bit of work to do. ive got 31 days to do it… finger crossed..
ive updated my pic for march, but i dont really see much of a differance, i feel like i look bigger in that then last month. maby its the jeans. damn they were my fav jeans too..
well enough of my winging! hahaha!
ill let you know how im feeling tomorro.
xx Nic
Tonight our surgen DR LAYANI on the gold coast had a Semiar for people who are looking in to have lap banding. I have attended the last 2 as i just like going an listening, This time was a bit more special cause MIKEY ROBBINS the comedian who was banded 11 months ago was our guest speaker.
I pretty much only went to see him and lucky enough when we got there he was just about to talk, and when he finished we ( my friend Katie and i) decided to leave to go for dinner. as we were walking out spotted him outside waiting for his ride to the airport, so i had to stop and chat, i asked him a bunch of questions while he waited but his ride was running late, SO I TOKE HIM TO THE AIRPORT!! How crazy is that! MIKEY ROBBINS SAT NEXT TO ME IN MY CAR!
im still so exited about it, i just asked question after question lol!
Hes lost 67kg in 11 months! ( i think )
How great is that!!
Just needed to tell someone!
see pays off to go to those seminars… banded or not… LOL
Theres the photo of me and him at the airport
wellllllll…….. just a quickie before i go to bed……That sounded dirty LOL….
Mum and dad and my brothers left to go on there big 7 day cruise this morning, so ive got no mummy here to keep me in line like she has been the last 2 weeks, kicking my butt for eating bad things and making me feel terrable if i do it again ! Hhahah.. so its all up to me and Esmerelda (Miss Band)
Ive got 55 sleeps till i fly down to sydney to spend the weekend with Katrina and i reallllllly wanna be under the 100kg mark by then, im sitting at 108 at the moment and chocolate isnt help that much…… im on my last couple of peices and then thats it…. Game On!
if i lost 1kg a week, id be 99kg when i fly down there… surely i can do that!
Ive gotta do it! How awesome would that be, What a reason to celebrate!
Havnt written or done much to my site the last few weeks ive moved from house to house and havnt had anything with me to work with, I move in to my unit on sunday so ill get everything back up and running and she’ll be going strong again!
I need everyones support!
55days to lose 9 kg….
I HIT 110KG!
I really wanted to get there on my bday… but i guess the day after is still awesome!
on the 17th of feb i was officially 17.5kg lighter!
I went out for my bday but got really sick, im not sure what it wasbut i had really bad stomach pains and went home an hour later, not to worry.. i party every other weekend ! haha
im finding my banding journey a little easier im undertstanding my body a little better, i dont eat much as i have full resriction, I went for another fill about 2 weeks ago, i only wanted .5ml…yea right! Doc put 2ml in and i almost died lol! i sat down out side and i can never tell if its just my nerves making it feel tight and the stage fright of drinking water in front of a room full of patients.. so i sipped and sipped and tryed to do a little burp and up came all the water.. so i said i think i might need a little out.. so he took 1 ml out. So now I have 8.5ml in my band, I still struggle alot with my foods but only food that im not ment to be eating. But damn chocolate , milk and biscuts go down to well… Will Power!!!! No more!!!! i really need to start toning up, my arms are still big and need to get some mussel in to them. Other then that im feeling pretty good, I still ahve had no comments as to my weightloss.. friends dont really notice and my grandad asked when i would start to lose the weight… A little sad, but ill get there..
Just a quick entry as im about to head off for work..
Happy banding everyone :o )
Well ive disided its time to come back.. Ive had my break.. and after a rough few weeks im ready to get back on track. Ive had some terrible things have happend but im slowly back on the straight and narrow.
Im down to 114kg from 127.5kg … 13.5 in 12 weeks… I know in my self i could have done so much better, But todays a new day and im going to make the most of every minute of it. I was back at the gym this morning, first time in 5 months. Worked out for an hour and LOVED IT! Got my self not only one but TWO jobs so get in front with bills , and am going for another fill of .5ml just to curb that snacking felling.
Im bringing back my will power, the band is doing its job.. ive gotta be fair and do mine.
I didnt go to my dietition appt on Thursday cause i thought she would get angry at me, But i rang her today and said sorry and am seeing her tomorrow.
I think i really needed time out from compairing myself to others, sometimes its great and a kick in the butt to hear peoples losses, sometimes its depressing. SOOO Im back on track, Ill get My site up and running again.. Pics and stories for everyone to look at. Thanks for all the words of support during my rough patch. I read everyone of them.
Xx Nic
DOB 2nd Nov : 127.5kg
12wks later : 114.0kg
13.5kg loss
7.5ml in a 10ml band
Hi everyone.
Today i have been hit with some very bad news. I am glad i had chossen last night to take some me time as One of my close friends has died suddenly this morning.
At 23 he had an epileptic fit while haveing a shower and has passed away.
I am still very much in shock and just feel compleate numbness. He and his Girlfriend were extreamly close to me and im still coming to terms with it. everytime my brain stops thinking all i can come out with is “oh my god” i feel so faint and just cant accept it right now.
Jett is at my mums tonight as i need time to myself, I will be spending tomorrow with her and we suspect the funeral will be held on friday.
He and he partner had been together for 6 years, shes 22 hes 23. He was taken to fast, I couldnt have asked to have had 2 of the nicest people in my life.
Thanks for your understanding of me not wanting to talk about the band for a while. This is defenatly me time.
im going to be as addicted to exercise as i am to food..
Will let you know how i go..mwah mwah mwah
Well its been a while since ive written anything in here so ill catch up on what been happining..
so far ive lost 12.5kg.. in 9 weeks.. im pretty happy with that, but wish i had lost 50kg ..LOL
I brought my self my first set of scales today, there exactly the same as mums so thats good, i was always weigh on mums and there always acurite :)
I also got a Gym ball, and hand weights.. Ive been on it all day, its so much fun … least i know im doing a bit of exercise..
I havnt done any form of exercise in about 3 weeks!!! So slack, but i just havnt been bothered, I wish i was addicted to exercise like i am to food!! That’d be grea, At 6 weeks post band i started going crazy with exercise, i was walking at least 3km a day and exerciseing at home.. I dont know why i stopped. I keeps saying ill do it tomorro… never happens!
Im really down about Bills and money and being lonley right now and have been eating to take my mind off it, so ive been trying to stick to good foods so i dont put on weight. I just got my self a job, first Job in 19 mnths.. its going well tho.. im just thinking about the money $$$$$
had my first experiance with FOOD GETTING STUCK!!
Oh GOOOOOOD LORD! i dont wish this upon anyone!
I had eaten my diner, all went down well.. I dont keep dinner plates in my house anymore, i eat all my food on bread and butter plates, So i had a piece of chicken the size in the inside of my palm.. and some thin pasta i got from work, about a 1/4 of a cup full.. was really nice.. finished up , felt full and was satasfied..
Then about half an hour later i went back for the other bit if chicken… BAD IDEA NIC!
took a bite, didnt even chew it well.. went down.. got stuck… so what do i do, take another bite… DIDNT CHEW and it went straight on top of the other one.. I was in tears, laying across my gym ball just crying, i really didnt want to be sick, In 9 weeks i hadnt been sick once.. so i waddled into the toliet..and was sick.. 2 MASSIVE bit fo chicken came up.. I HAVE LERNT MY LESSON!!
And i was sooooo sore for the rest of the night..
More soon..
Xx Nic
The dress i wore last night… About 2 mnths sgo it was so tight you could see every single bump and lump.. NOW LOOK >>>>
I cant even wear it cause its too big..
Damn.. i really liked that dress..
Another one up for grabs i guess LOL
Im not going to winge about my problems on here.. ill leave that to my YAHOO post…
Anyways..thats the dress lol :O)
Well time for an update i think..
Today i had my first fill.. was great, it hurt a little looking for the port but was over in 5 minutes,, and oh boy dont i feel the resriction, its not an over fill, but just enough to keep my eating on track. Dr L put 5ml in my 10ml band.. anymore and i think i would have had to much..
Im going to start keeping notes on what im eating, not count calories or anything, just notes.. maby it’l keep me a little sain knowing im not eating a horse!
Im burping and *Fluffing* Heaps!! its really weird! i only did that when i was first banded.. maby im getting to much air in.. ive also got a little bit of chest and back pain, maby its the way im sitting..just when you think you know your body..it changes!!
Ive now lost 9.5kg.. and im kinda happy about that.. I find i compair my self to everyone else, like someone will have a loss of 9.5kg in 2 weeks, and im like.. thats taken me 5 weeks!! but they may be alot heavier then i am, so i think it falls off them faster.. still plays mind games tho..
I forget the band is around my tummy not my brain and my brain is always telling me to eat eat eat..
i joined the gym today, im getting bored of walking.. this might get me a little motivated again.
My scars are healing very well, they dont hurt at all, and i only had 2 stiches come thro. but they were nothing, the nurse cut one off and the other one just fell off, the nurse called them “cats Guts” there the internal stiches so there nothing important.
Ive had such an amazing responce about this site, its great, im addicted to it so i love it when i know people are reading it, makes me feel like im not a comleate internet freak lol!
I went thro my 5 x 56ltr containers of clothes yesterday.. i sorted them in to sizes from 24 to 12.. Ive got over 300 items of clothing.. I could start my own Life Line!! no joke! its crazy!
i will take a photo of my cupboard! its just crazyness.. but Miss “i keep everything” wont let it go.. so i will when i dont fit in it any more, then ill pass them on to someone whos waiting to be banded, i know they will be apprecitated then :o )
Bring on the SIZE 12 !!!! Gosh.. bring on the size 18 !! lol!!
i had a bit of sholder tip pain, for the first time in months, i think this is my sign to say im full.. I wish it was a pain in my head!!
thats about all for now.. Going out tomorrow night with all my friends, big noght on the town, lots of dancing..and drinking..shhh.. ill dance it all off.. i havnt had a drop of grog for 6 weeks, wonder how many it’l take till i cant walk lol!!!
Talk soon everyone!!
I had my apppointmnt with amanda (the dietition) yesterday, I am now on solids.. YAY.. But i am going to go for an early fill, i am getting a bit hungery and i dont want to ruin all this exercise im doing, im walking 3km a day, i gave today a miss because i walked 4 km along the beach yesterday with no shoes on, and my ankles are killing me, But then again, i might chuck the sneekers on and go down the broad walk at the beach with jett whn he wakes up.
Im so into loosing this weight, i just wish it would fall off quicker.
Im starting to notice a differance in my clothes tho, I could hardly sqeeze in to the pair of pants im wearing in the december photo, now there BAGGY on me!i can pull them up to my under my boobs LOL!!
I think its still plays with your mind a bit, so itl be goos when things finally start happining.
Amanda told me im still dehidrated.. I nearly kicked the body comp machine! im drinking so much water, well at least the headaches are gone,, so ill just let the computer say waht it wants :o )
I tryed a little bit of coke zero today, was very yummy, but didnt go down to well, i thought id enjoy some before my fill which im going to have on thursday..
So far ive lost 8.5 kg and 41.5 cm all round!!! ITS CRAZY!
Im loving it, will be good when people say teh notice the differance, Sez said she can see it in my face that its getting slimmer..
Wooohooo only 10 more sizes to go and im where i wanna be.. 8 more sizes and im where i know ill be ..lol
Yay!! anuty flo left on friday.. weighed my self yesterday and im down to ……………………………………………119.4 KG !!! WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Im now at a loss of 8.4kg at day 18 !!!
i cant wait for the cm’s to start falling off!
We had nans birthday party yesterday, i feel like i may have eaten a lil to much, but NO way NEAR as much as i would have with out my band, i had the smallest desert bowl of food. eg, potato salad, coleslaw, vegies.. and only a scraping of pavalova for desert. So when i think about it , i did really well. I would have usually demloished all the chips and dips and all the desert, but im pretty proud of my self, I can defenatly feel restrction.
Got my period last night.. Explains the weigh gain and me being a depresso… Sorry for the wingeing..
Wheres those damn pain killers… ouuuuuch.. :o (
My weight is now at 121.9kg, im pretty upset, Ive put on 1.9kg… I dont know how, i havny done anything differant..still eating the same. It was pretty upsetting.
I jumped on the yahoo forum to ask why it could be that ive put on weight, there was a few differant reasons but none of them seemed right. i did some reaserch and found out your weight sometimes goes up when your due from your period.. But im not due for “aunty Flo” for 11 days, so it couldnt be that.
I just want to drop this weight and drop it fast. Why is it so damn easy to put on and so friggen hard to lose. I would have really liked to hit 10kg by thursday when i see the dietition.. doesnt look like thats going to happen.
Im very down on my self right now, i feel as tho im going to be one of those 2% of people who fail at this, who dont stick to the rules and it doesnt work. I feel like im eating all the right things but its just not going to work or its going to take me years. I keep snacking, not on chocolate or anything.. but like peanuts and and dried apricots..
i cant wait to see the dietition, im so confussed.

 2009 .
During my pregnancy i gained about 25ish Kg and i enjoyed every single Kilo! I had fill in my band untill my last timester when my doctor suggested i have it removed as i wasnt gaining enough weight. It was difficult to have it out as i’d learnt to love my restriction. But i had a baby in my tummy, relying on my to feed it, so i had pretty much all of it out. I was left with about 2ml in my band i think, but i was released enough to enjoy alot of the foods i hadnt had in years!
I gained more then i was hopeing to gain in my last trimester, But it was a one off time for me to do it, and i know i can lose it just as easy.
Throughout my pregnancy i think i gained approximatly 25kg’s. 4.56kg of it ill blame on little miss and i carried alot of fluid. Since having Addison i think ive gained about 5-7kg.
So now its time! Time to get back in to shape. Ive enjoyed my break, but im NOT enjoying my figure. At the moment my weight is (Gulp) …
And i dont want to see those number again.
I hope you enjoy this journey as much as last year!
xx Nic xx
Tuesday 10th of feb 2009. 2.31pm
Well, one more sleep till the next journey starts. I think ill ask for at least 1 ML in so it really kick starts my body. Mum gave me some Diet shakes to drink for the first couple of days.. thats the part im dreading. Eww.
Ive put some of my skinny clothes on coat hangers in the walk in robe so i can have a bit of motivation to stay away from junk food.. Maby i should hang them in the pantry.. I need to remind myself that chocolate, and flavoured milk go thro the band no matter how tight it is! So ive got to use my will power and stay away!
I hope i can lose this 15kg as fast as i put it on! Im so eager to feel good again. I was reading thro Zoo with shane last night, looking at all the perfect girls in there with not even a stretch mark on them and it made me really down on myself. I look in the mirror and im disgusted :-(
My legs look terrable, my belly has so many stretchies and my arms are saggy. No amount of exercise is going to fix my arms or tummy, but if i really get started on walking everyday, my legs should tone up fairly well and ill be able to fit back in to those tiny size 10 skinny leg jeans!
So wish me luck, and send me lots of skinny vibes, because im going to do this! Im going to get back to the SkinnyMini i was a year ago!
x Nic x
Wednesday 11th of February 2009. 1.03pm
I had my fill this morning and im not sure i have enough restriction. I dont know for sure yet because i havnt tryed to eat anything to solid, but i was able to have a couple of biscuts with my coffee.. and thats the stuff im trying to stay away from.
I had 1ml in my band, and got another 2ml put in. So ill just keep twigging it untill ive reached my sweet spot. Ill see how i go with this ammount for a week, and if im not feeling restricted then ill go back next week.
Im not one to leave it weeks and weeks before i get more because i know how bad i want this weight gone! i weighed in at 87.8kg this morning on Dr L’s scales. Id be happy to see 12.8kg gone.
Ill weigh again on saturday.
x Nic.

10th of April 2008.. 

Well… what a day…  Leaving home to head off to work.. Not feeling to crash hot… a bit moody actually… Today is shanes 24th birthday.. Im stuck doing the morning shift 9-1 and hes stuck doing the night shift 12 till 9… so we did the birthday pressie last night. He scores big time, lots of nice gifts.
I had recently booked in to get my port moved as it sticks out a lot since loseing weight.
1st of may was operation day!

I stopped in at the supermarket to grab some tim tams for morning tea and see those groovey digital pregnancy test are on sale. I LOVE those tests, so many of my friends had used them and i love how they show PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT.

I knew i had to test before my op because i had skipped a period, but i knew it was due to stress and grandad passing, but i grabbed on while they were cheapish.

So after getting my tim tams and the very flash test i headed to the loo. “Stage Fright” i couldnt pee..
5 min later, i headed to work. Downed 2 cups of tea a tim tam and a glass of OJ and dashed to the loo.

I sat there thinking about what it would say.

NOT PREGNANT- I can have my surgery done and my pill is actually working! and no need to worry about the missed period..

PREGNANT- ummmm all i could really think of was… “Ummm shit”…. hahaha…
Shane and i had only recently been talking about a little brother os sister for jett and that “Maybe” we would have a try after our holiday in june..
But if it did show up pregnant then i knew we were going to be stoked.

He didnt even know i had bought the test, I dont even know why i really got it. I was fully convinced it was going to show up not pregnant and i would have just wasted a good test… But i was busting to go to the loo and this was my only chance..

So i peed on the stick..

Testing, testing, testing….. i couldnt watch… lol

so i stuck it up on the window and waited… Rethought my feelings on things and just knew it was going to come back pregnant.

I slowly stood up and looked the other way… Closed my eyes and picked up the test.

I didnt even flush the loo… i ran out of the toilet.. in to my really good friends hair salon and firmly said..
“tennielle.. i need you” …hahaha she walked in to the waxing room and i shoved the test in her face, He jaw dropped. I was in compleate shock!

No one even thought i could possably be pregnant, i never mentioned anything, i didnt think it was possable. But i was.. I AM!

Morning goes by and i rock up to mums… Tell her theres something i need to talk to her about and went to the loo… walked back out and told her Grandad gave me a present.

” Mum… im having a baby!”

She jumped up and grabbed me so quick i thought she was going to tackle me!!

All she kept yelling was ” THANK YOU! THANKYOU!!”

Then we jumped up and down for ages.. hahaha

I had worked out that shane and i concieved our baby only a few hours before my grandad passed away. This was his little gift to me.

Me , mum and my brother rhys went to the doctors at 2pm, did another test and had bloods done. all came back positive.

9.30pm Shane finishes work. walks in after having a shocking day and sits on the couch. I was thinking all day how i could tell him.. I held it in ALL day!!! Im so proud if myself!

I put the 2 test in a little box and when he got home i said “ive got one more pressie for you..close your eyes” Then i gave him the box.

He opens it and sees the 2 tests both with 2 lines and is in shock! ( the little sooky bum was pretty much crying..lol)…And dont try say your went babe… cause you were.. Hahahaha.

So after an all round shitty day for him, he got what hes always dreamed about. His first baby.

…..Thats how it all started.

May - 2008

I was maintaining my weight pretty well.. But with the morning sickness and stress i wasnt holding much food down, so off i went to get to get a little of my fill out.
Ive grown to learn my band is my life. I need to work with it for it to work with me. If i abuse it, its going to do wrong by me. I know my band now. I know when i need some ajustment in, and some adjustment out. and just because i got some out it doesnt mean im going to put on weight. My band has showed me a new way of eating. A new out look on food. And i knew i was getting fill out for the right reason.
Not so i could go out and stuff my face with Hungrey Jacks or KFC.. Fast foods are the last thing on my mind these days! It was so i could eat small ammounts of steak, and be able to grab an apple on the way out the door without worrying about the peal getting stuck. When morning sickness kicks in, you need simple basic foods that you know are going to stay down… like saladas, and sao’s… and with a bit of adjustment out it makes a huge differance.
I had a good chat to the girls in the surgery about how to treat my band while pregnant and i ended up getting 1.5ml out. 1ml i know i needed out, but because i did have alot of fluid in my band we took another .5ml knowing if i was eating more then i probably should, i always have that .5ml to play with.
But its been great. Ive been able to sataisfy my potato and mint sauce cravings! Dads home made chunky steak soup, and my obsession with apples! And in 10 weeks ive put on 1kg. So im SO happy about that!
For those of you who simply had the band done and thought you could do it on your own and arent coping to well… please, dont give up! I recieve so many emails, Most i can reply to.. some ive still got to get around to.. Asking why isnt your band working for you. Only YOU know why. And if your truely honest with your self you will see it.
You wil find a sweet spot with your adjustments, and it might take you 10 times to get it right, but work with your surgen or the people who help them, and work with your band. I thought i was a “Failure” but i stopped thinking negitive and understood my band was for life and look where its got me.
Anyways… Ill probably end up going back at about at about 16 weeks and get a little more removed and have another talk with the girls about the next step.

Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome
Ive noticed a fair few people who struggle with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. So i thought id share my PCOS story with you…

I suffered my first misscarage at 19 years old after 2 years of trying. Ultrasounds showed i had severe Pcos. My overies were covered. Doctors said while i held as much weight as i did there would be no chance of me being able to convieve a child and have a healthy pregnancy. I was shattered. My dreams of becoming a young mum was taken from me because of my weight.
I hated myself, I felt id let myself down, the only chance my now lost child had of a life and my family who were so supportive of me having children. The weight piled on.
I ate because i was depressed and i was depressed because i ate. In my head i thought my chances of having children were gone, so my next best thing was food. I never felt full. I could eat a block of chocolate, feel sick. then eat a bag of chips. I just never had that “wow, im full” feeling.
After months of feeling sorry for myself i started talking to people who had Pcos, and people who had overcome it. I read a thread from one lady whos story sounded so much like mine. Altho she was a little older, i could see that being me in 10 years time. Still no children and depressed.
She joined a gym. She thought even if she did eat what she wanted she culd just work it off. Knowing i couldnt give up my food addiction, the gym was the next best thing. So i joined.
Over a few months i started to lose the weight. I didnt notice a differance in clothing my the scales showed i was dropping the kilos. After about 6 months id lost about 10kg. And a dress size finally! But as soon as i saw myself loseing, i started eating more.
Another month passed and id lost another kilo.
Because of my PCOS id go months without a period. so i knew never to rely on them.
Pregnancy test companies made a fortune off me, buying 2 tests every month.
Finally mum said enough is enough, she booked me in to see a fantastic gyno at John Flynn Hosptial and said we need to get my body sorted.
Booked in for thursday the 22nd of october 2004, i arrived at mums house. She walked in the door with a familer chemist bag. The chemist bag i see every month.
I knew even before she told me what was in it, that i was going to be a test. After arguing with her that i had already tested 4 days before at the doctors and it came back negitive, she begged me just to do it.
so i did.
Pcos had ruled my life. My weight owed me. thats all i ever thought about, thats all i ever talked about. my journals have pages and pages of “Im starting a diet today” storys.. it never happened. i never ever thought i would find a way to keep the weight off. Even tho mum had the band, i never thought it was an option for me.
Sooo… I pee-ed in the cup… hahaha to much info..
Mum told me to go away while she did the test, but i just wanted to stick the test in.
I didnt even get to blink before the results showed up..
One line… TWO LINES!
I was pregnant!
I couldnt believe it. I was so happy, but so scared at the same time. I vowed to looked after me body from that day. This was my 2nd chance at having a child and i wasnt going to ruin it.
Ultrasounds showed the ammount of cysts had gone down, but i stil wasnt out of the clear. I needed to watch what i ate, and exercise. But i still had “no full feeling”
And after the first trimester, my weight balloones again.
On giving birth i weighed 107kg. id put on nearly 30kg.
and my overies were gone again. Covered by cysts. No more periods.
For the first time in my life, I didnt care about my weight anymore. I had my beautiful healthy little boy and thats all i cared about. I had accepted i may not have anymore children.
2 years after recieveing the news i was going to be a mum, My family said it was time to do something about my weight. Id reached 130kg and being a single parent to Jett, it was hard doing everything carrying that ammount of weight. We lived on our own and i lived off fast foods. Just up the road was my 3 fav take outs all in a row. KFC, Mcdonalds and Pizza hut.
Mum and i had tryed walking together, id walk to the end of the road and my feet would be covered in blisters and my face was bright red. I tryed joining the gym again, Never went. I tryed diet shakes but they tasted awful! i tryed diet pills, but i would just put the weight straight back on.
My GP suggested i go down the same path as mum and get banded. He sent me for my last ultrasound on my overies that showed there were a mess.
2 days later mum said she wanted me to see the surgen. 1 week later my appointments were booked and 3 weeks later i was banded.
2 months after banding my Ultrasound showed my Cysts were disolving. 6 months after banding they were pretty much gone, and 12 months and 50kg after banding i was clear.
In april Shane and i started talking children. after years of trying with jett, i didnt hold much hope of falling straight away. so we planned for early july to “just try” ..
One time is all it took. And we got the big news. Were going to be parents.
Wednesday 30th of July 08
Jett felt the baby kick for the first time today!
We were laying outside in the sun eating crackers and bubby was moving about and then i got a big kick and my tummy started moving, so i sat jett up and told him to put him hand on my belly , then the baby kicked it!
He pulled his hand away and looked at it and said “I think the baby touched my hand!” hahaha
So he put it back there and it kicked it again, he was in stiches! wouldnt stop laughing!!
Now all he wants to do is touch my belly. Hes going to love it on friday when he comes to the ultrasound! Hes so involved, its great. Today he was playing with my best friends 5 month old and making him laugh, it was great to see him so good with a baby.
Hes a fantastic kid!

Jul 28 2008 03:44 am
WOW! im so sorry i havnt updated! Today im 18 weeks and 4 days, and as im typing this my little bubba is kicking the crap out of me.. hahaha
Last thursday Shane, mum dad and i went to a 3D ultrasound. We went for a scan called a “Gender Determination”… It was amazing! they had these big comfy couches for the family, and a big king single motorised bed for me. And we all watched the scan on a huge plasma screen.
At first they thought bubba was a Girl… Then they thought it was a Boy. Soooo Friday i go for my Morphology scan with professional sonographers. Then i go back to the 3D scanner with Mum, dad and nan next tuesday!
Lots of scans and peaks at bubby! So expect a few more pics!
Ive been getting lots of movement, but not hard enough for Jett or shane to have a feel. Wont be long tho. Some times i can see my tummy moving.
So far bubby hasnt affected my band at all. My port isnt actually under my stomache muscle, so as my tummy grows, it takes my port with it. Im keeping intouch with Dr Layani and it doesnt seem to be affecting me at all. But ask me again when im full term..lol.
I think in the next month ill go get another .5ml out. Ive been getting a few headaches, so i think i need to eat some more for bubs.
Ive still only put on about 4 kg in 18 weeks. Im looking healthy and bubby is actually bigger then they thought. so i must be eating the right foods! Its been a good banding journy, ive learnt alot about eating good foods, things i wouldnt have learnt just being on ‘Diet pills’!
well i think thats about all for now. Theres probably more, but i can feel bubs having a play and im going to go lay down and watch my tummy..
Will update with new pics and new info on friday night!
xx N

Aug 2 2008 05:34 pm
When we went for our 3D scan the said Girl.. The Boy.. then they said we could come back to be re-scanned again at no cost because they really had no idea. So friday the 1st of August we went for the morphology scan and the stenographer STILL couldn’t see it..! He said theres no visible signs of Boy bits.. but he couldn’t get a good look for Girl bits. So he said its STILL undecided.
So i made an executive decision.. We will find out when bubby is born!
Ive got another 3D scan to go to but im not going untill im about 30 weeks and i DONT want them to tell me what it is!
I took the blue cot sheets back and swapped them for adorable yellow, pale green and brown matching ones. There SO cute! and weve got white and yellow jump suits and thats all we will buy for now. After bubby is born , mum and dad can baby sit the kidlets so we can go shopping for colours :-)
Well.. thats about it for updates now. I had 1ml of fluid taken out of my band again because i was getting Hypos. Where my blood pressure drops to quick and i get shocking headaches. Since getting it out im feeling really good. SO PLEASE listen to your bodies and adjust the fluid amount to better your health! not your weight loss!
The cheeky little thing had its legs crossed AGAIN!

x N

Aug 12 2008 04:49 pm
Oh …my…gosh! This baby can MOVE!
It twists and jumps and punches and twirls! It feels like its using something as a jumping castle! CRAZY!
It feels so weird and even tho ive had a pregnancy before, it still weirds me out a little that theres a BABY in my stomach…
Some nights its pushes in this one spot over and over and over.. gets kind of annoying, but i know its just making its self comfortable..lol.
Jett actually said to me the other day “wow, your tummy has eaten to much!” Hahaha.. yeah it ate a WHOLE BABY!
So it guess its getting noticeably different.
Nearly 5 and a half months tomorrow!  My first scan dated us at being due the 24th of December, but both my 12 and 20 week scans have said exactly the 18th of december, which is pretty spot on with the day we would have conceived. So if i get any niggly pains on the 18th, im straight to the hospital!
Hope everyones doing well and not getting bored with my pregnancy journey! Its taking FOREVER!

December 2009- 
December 17th (A day before her due date) Our beautiful baby GIRL entred the world! WELCOME earthside Addison-Dior! VERY fast 8 minute, drug free, natural birth. Weighing in at a whopping 10lbs 1oz .. Shes is our little godess. Well.. actually 11 weeks and 3 days i think!