A bit of back ground.. Master 4.5 (Previous relationship) is NOT circumcised. For many reasons. I checked him out from head to toe when i first gave birth to this little pink buddle of perfectness and along with everything else, his penis was in A1 condition.. He’s ears, eyes, button nose and tubby legs. He had all 10 fingers and all 10 toes. 10/10 in my opinion.
While trying for children I realised raising them to be self reliant adults was not going to be easy, but I was prepared. It starts with teaching them manners ' Peeease and Tah' then it’s on to the harder stuff like bathing, brushing their teeth, putting rubbish in the trash, wiping there bum and in Master 4.5's case, Cleaning his foreskin. All of the above, not an issue in this house. He is a well mannered, well groomed smart little man that will yell from the shower every night "MUM.. I don’t have an erection!" ... yes... I said Erection. My reply "Infection honey.. Do you have an INFECTION?"
So we’ve got to get a few things ironed out, but since he was 2, master 4.5 has known to clean his foreskin.
While pregnant with Miss .14, her father (Current partner, different father to 4.5) and I would have many discussions on the "pros and cons" of circumcising. I am 150% against.. I would say he is..Maybe... 97.5% for it. I’m ALOT more stern on the fact I DO NOT want it done, then he is for wanting it done.
I must say, I breathed the longest sigh of relief when I heard the words 'Meet your baby daughter'
#3 is due in 10 days. And if I know my body as well as I do, it’s any day now.
So tonight I put it out there. If #3 is a boy, I am not ok with circumcision.
Let’s just say our house was a little rough for a few hours (and still slightly is). Not in a bad way.. Just in a way where we should have been on separate benches with a middle man.
I updated my Face book status with -
" WARNING- Controversial status... Were having a ‘Disagreement’.. "IF" this baby is a boy, Mr 25 is pro-circumcision ... I am totally against. How the heck are we going to solve this! ... I think I’m just going to move out. Advice anyone? Would it be deemed legally 'ok' to run away with the kids... so it can’t be done??"
And had some great 'For and against' replies..
A- Leave the poor doodle alone unless it necessary I say... Tell Mr 25 he has to slam his doodle between two bricks to sympathise with the bubbas pain and pray to god it’s got girl bits.
A- Leave it be! Stand your ground.
S- I don't think most hospitals will do it now unless there's a good medical reason or you're Muslim.
Ask you middy. Bet she says they won't do it!
D- Only certain peads will do it
and most of the time only for a medical or religious reason.
S- Google how they do it and show him. i think he'll change his mind.
J- Show him this website http://circumcisiondecisionmaker.com/ Made me decide to NEVER circumsize my son after seeing that website.
S- And as for it being 'pain free' what a load of horse shit. The neighbours kid screamed for days after his so did the twins. Just coz you cant remember it Doesnt mean it didnt hurt.
H- i know ur against it and please dont take this the wrong way but theres kind of a old mothers tale/rule what ever the father is thats what his son should be... sorry .
R- no need for it! and true most docs wont do it now hence the reason its not needed. for those who say it dont hurt.. u tube it and see how much it hurts!!! they have heaps about it and just the needle alone hurts them, an even then they still feel the pain.. it is not nesseary if you can clean your elbow they can clean thier foreskin...also it can turn out for the worst and have permanent damage for ever and for wat jus so he kite look like someone else????? i wouldnt.
J- Over here in NZ even you have to really dig around to get it done and even the midwives are against it, I never got my son done and his father is against it too after seeing its not needed and what they do to the child.
D- well i would get my son done if i could find one as his foreskin is tight and the drs said he would be ok but might get infections and try teaching an autistic kid how to clean a forskin might be an issue but i cant now as there isnt any drs in wa that still do them spose time will tell.
C- If i burned my son with a hot iron he wouldn't remember it either, but I wouldn't do it because like circumcision , a) It's cruel and b) it is not necessary.
What if my husband lost a thumb? Should I cut off all of my sons thumb to look like dad?
There are THOUSANDS of nerve endings in the foreskin that he will use for sexual pleasure when he is older. Sure you think "but I don't use mine and I have sexual pleasure just fine" that is because you have no clue what you are missing....
His foreskin will PROTECTS the urinary opening and despite popular belief, helps aid in stopping things like UTI and stuff.
It also aids in lubrication, less friction and sexual pleasure since the most sensitive part of the penis is the foreskin.
Mother rule/tale is a crock of shit.
Watch the video Mr 25... Seriously and seriously consider what you would be removing from him. It isn't yours to take.
C- Im shocked my husband was and still is pro circumsision but I wouldnt agree we now have 3 kids all boys eldest is 8 and not one is done!
Just say no and dont let it happen.
And the excuse if the dad is done the kid should be what BS.... That is the dumbest reason i have ever heard
C- Oh, if you think it's ok to do a boy, line little Miss .14 up too. Because what's good for the goose should be good for the gander.
B- I'm Due in less then a week *figerss crossed* He decides to come on time and not late.
I didnt even think about this topic till my foster Mum asked me so i came home and ask my Partner what he thought. He said we should leave it for our child to decide if he wants to get it done or not, I thought thats a good idea cos i didnt know exactly what ... See Morehappens so i did look it up, It looked Horrible! Poor little Babies.
My partner hasnt had this done he has had no problems what so ever.
Hope you can figure this one out. I would say not to but thats me. Good Luck!
J- Id stand your grand. My hubby is circ and when we found out that jack was a boy he said he didn’t want him circ, so our boys are all natural.
D- well, this issue certainly generated a lot of comments... some very valid points raised - have to agree with the argument that "like father like son" is weak especially when Master 4.5 is not done. Both my boys were not circumcised with virtually no problems experienced - some brands of soap were a bit too harsh for them. However my nephew was not done either and due to complications of many serious infections it was decided he would be at age 8 - very painful for him and it took some time to heal. I also remember when D was in special care nursery for jaundice there was a new born boy who was done and he had contracted a very serious infection and my god did he look ill - all for a circumcision.
R- Ok...just thought I would add my two cents in too. I have two boys and one husband. Husband is circumcised and my boys are not. Not ONCE has one of my boys ever asked why their penis does not look the same as their dads.Also. my eldest son has had two little infections when he was younger and i took him to see a specialist about whether i should get him done...specialist said no...there was no medical reason for it at all....(he was even jewish!!). he has not had any further probs. i know its a touchy subject and everyone has an opinion on it, and at the end of the day, its up to you both.little girls in parts of africa are circumcised...and their mothers are too...does it make it right???? good luck in your decision!!
R- we got T done one week old. We got it done across the road from the Hospital as the hospitals themselves won't do it. I understand your point if view, but hubby got a bad infection at 8 and got it done then and was so painful. They put numbing cream on T 2 hours prior, then he had him in there for less then 5 mins. Don't know if he cried in there but was fine when he came out. It took 2 weeks for the ring to fall off and I put cream on everyday. It looked red and swollen but it didn't bother him at all. Be aware it costs approx $550! But either way good luck with your decision, T wasn't bothered and I don't regret it :-)
A-Stay strong!
More important for him to just look like 'him' :) Than, Daddy. No offense to your Man.
A foreskin shouldn't be removed for insubstantial reasons.
(What’s fashionable, cultural, traditional etc).
It's never removing just a foreskin anyway, it's taking away so much from a penis that is absolutely, physiologically necessary.
Little boys, especially! Need their foreskins to protect the glands of the penis.
Leave little boys intact, leave them with what they were biologically designed to have. Give them their divine right to have a say in their 'bits'.
I understand young boys/adult males, can have problems with infection occurring. Cross that bridge when need be.
Just because a baby can't express their concerns doesn't give us a right to inflict such pain. Circumcision is only ever necessary, when deemed medically necessary.
Appendix can explode and the toxins can kill you within the hour... Yet we don't remove an appendix at birth. In fact, the statistic of an appendix burst is probably just about as equal as the statistic of an infected foreskin and the failure to treat it.
Infected Ear, kidney, bladder being far more common. You might say, "Yeah, but we need those to function".
Well, our Men need their foreskins too. Removing them is just forcing them to adapt without it.
Heck, what's the statistic for a girl getting Thrush or other infections of the genitalia? It's certainly high. So high that in fact we have a handful of advertisements dedicated to the awareness of treatment and control. We don't promote female circumcision based on that incredibly high infection rate so why should we for Men?
If Male foreskin infections were THAT big of an issue within our modern day man, don't you think we'd know about it..?
Thankfully the percentage of Circ Men vs Intact Men has come down significantly within the last decade. I think it's resting somewhere around the 20% range, nationally speaking, compared to 50% + which was a decade ago.
Finally, Australia is realizing how unnecessary it is.
J- I know so many boys/men that never had it done they were all shown how to clean it but still get infections. You will get an infection at least once. It’s not nice trust me.
Jordan isn’t done and that was only because the stupid doctor wouldn’t give us the referral for it and after having a fight and seeing another doctor he was too old by one bloody wk.
We are still getting him done not for the reason as oh it looks better but as a health reason.
everyone has their own judgment on people that get it done, which is just plain and simple rude every mother and father have a right to choose what they think is the best thing for their son without getting the nose in the air and told oh no that’s not right oh that’s wrong.
does that mean ivf shouldnt be allowed because thats not a natural conception? no because those people have a right to have a family and be happy with out people judging them
same with circumcision. dont judge people.
Hubby is with Mr 25, the same as you like father like son. Our son will hit and age where he will be why am i different than you daddy why arnt i the same.
so im backing.
but in the end your his mum to so you get a say as well.
try not to fight over it. things happen for a reason. Decide when (he) is born. no use fighting over it now if he is a she or do you know she is a he? lol
R-health issues from not doin it are the same if you dont brush your teeth you with get infecdtions in your mouth derrr. its a matter of keeping it clean... its not hard people!! nic im totally with you on the whole bath thing. and god if their is gonna be surgery just for wat it looks like ohh heck!
J- like i said every parent thinks different. dads thats arnt done dont want there son to be done. not FACT but most. just like dad's that are done want there son to be done. now i dont see anything wrong with a father and son being the same either way.
im not saying keeping it on will result in getting alot of infections buts it is FACT that boy's and men get more infections if they still have the foreskin. FACT!
so R let me guess if you (have) a son or will have a son he wont be done... most prob your (hubby/boyfriend) isnt done.
men will be men like father like son.
just like most women out there get their daughters ears pierced because they did
not a bad thing but there right as a parent to make that choice!
R- Wow crazy opinions!!! I don't feel it's wrong or bad, my son didn't cry it didn't bother him and I sleep at night just fine. Everyone is getting very passionate about this topic which is ok, but there is alot of slamming of it being done, everyone has a right to make their own decisions and shouldn't be made to feel bad just coz they chose to get it done.
B- Wooooo look at your status go! lol. ;) Hubby is done but our soon to be born son will not be. :) We both do not see it as necessary anymore with the information available to us now. Just because it was done before, doesn't mean you have to continue the tradition.
SO.. They were just SOME replies.. i think there’s close to 70 now.. Here are a couple of my replies and sorry to those who i may offend, but as i stated, Its something im totally passionate about.
- If 'he' needed it done at 5 or 8 yrs old then it would be more of a medical reason to have it done, and they would do it a different way to what they would when he is a new born.
You don’t seen people getting their ears chopped off at a young age simply to avoid ear infections..
Maby everyone should have their teeth removed so we don’t get tooth aches..
Sorry! I’m so so against it..
AND 'why' should it matter about 'looks'.. What if Mr 25 had one arm? Or was born with facial deformities.. Should the baby then be like its father?
What difference is it going to make to their relationship?
And if its all about looks, that it has to look the same, then that’s a crock, because i don’t think Miss .14 have EVER seen Mr 25's bits, and the baby would bath more with 4.5 then her dad.. And 4.5, obviously, is NOT done. He would be more curious as to why his brothers looks different..
It’s exactly what you said its an 'old wives tale'
So, that was about 3 hours ago and its still going. I know at the end of the day its something only Mr 25 and i will decide, BUT it has been good knowing others opinions and experiences.
25, has now resorted to the couch with a block of chocolate and the Wii, refusing to talk to me.. So id better head over there and try talk this out before bed.
Look forward to more experiences if you would like to leave a comment!
x N
good work nic kinda feel a lil famous now...lol. enjoyed reading. rhonda.b
ReplyDeleteCirc disgusts many women of your generation. I am elated to discover this, but am not sure why this is the case. Rest assured that you are in good company, though. I think that you intuit the contribution of the foreskin to sexual pleasure, and view any threat to sexual pleasure as an attack on your femininity. Sadly, few men are in the lead here. When it comes to understand their own intimate bodies, most men are decades behind women.
ReplyDeleteYou sound British, but routine circ is no longer an option there. The same is true of New Zealand, where I live. I conclude you are Australian. There, the Crown stopped paying for it years ago, and most Australian maternity wards no longer offer the service. If you insist on having it done, you will have to find a specialist pediatrician who will do it privately on an outpatient basis. It is my understanding that in Oz, it's always done under local anesthesia.
Circ is entirely gone from New Zealand, and mostly gone from Oz, because about 1% of routine infant circumcisions result in a damaged adult penis. Serious disasters have been known to happen.
The retractable bits that circ removes are the epicentre of male sexuality. The foreskin and frenulum look they are the wrapper, and the head is the candy. There may be some truth to that in youth, but later in life, the foreskin becomes the candy! (I am a 57 year old intact male.)
There are women who have experienced both kinds of penis and have shared their feelings behind internet anonymity. There are North American women who claim to dislike the appearance or hygiene of the natural penis. They overlook that the foreskin becomes almost invisible when the penis is erect, and that a woman has the right to ask that a penis be washed before intimacy begins.
Other North American and Australian women say that they either do not notice or care about the difference, or that they prefer intact, some very much so.
The foreskin and frenulum are a small part of the whole male body. But they make up a subtsantial part of what interacts with the female body during vaginal intercourse.
Many women say that the foreskin eases initial penetration. My wife says that the foreskin interacts at the outset with the inner lips in a nice way. An important part of penetrative sex is the to and fro of the foreskin. Apparently, this to and fro stimulates some women as well as the foreskin owner.
Many women who've had both say that a weekend of sex with a cut man leaves them feeling sore, even with a bladder infection, for a day or so afterwords. Even with lube. Many women with this complaint say they have no such side effects when the dude is intact. I surmise that we intact men thrust less deep and less hard, and find it easier to establish a rhythm with which the woman feels comfortable. A foreskin (with a kind man behind it) makes intercourse gentler and smoother.
Every time a North American woman uni student tells her mates in the hostel that her date the previous weekend was unusually hot because he was uncircumcised, she is planting intactivist seeds in the hearts of her mates.