Monday, January 31, 2011

Buttons Dior Meets Organised Chaos.

My need for a creative outlet, ruled by no one other then me and my small amount of self learnt skills was born through, Buttons Dior. As mentioned before, ive had a few other business / hobby ventures with friends now ex friends, which after heading down hill felt stale and dead. Ive never been one who likes to feel pushed, or directed. I like to fight my own battle, i like to find my own way. And for the first time, in my whole life. I have a hobby that allows me to do that. I make what i want, when i want, for those who like my simple creations, and for people who are less fortunate then others.

Buttons didn't start out as a money maker, or for attention seeking , it was there to release the craft side of me that i still, need a fix for. I never wanted to be one of those work at home parents who has the best of everything. Who paints a picture of the perfect life. I just wanted to "make things" and meet other people. I dont make bulk lots of stock, i cant reproduce stock over night. Ive got a family, a house and people who need me. So i make what i can, and sell it (Or simply give it) to people who want it!

Organised Chaos started when i added a note to my personal facebook page of a diary entry. My diary entry was typed out on my iphone at 3am and i thought 'I wonder if anyone has advice on this..'
Low and behold, 55+ comments later, everyone had an opinion. It really helped me through a rough spot and so i blogged.

I'm not ashamed of who i am, im not scared to tell it how it is. I crave advice from others. It gets my through knowing 'Im not the only one'.

I suffer, yes..suffer, From depression. Im not ashamed of it. I just purely hate it. And when im at my lowest, i blog. Sometimes it get published, sometimes it just sits in my drafts waiting. Waiting for the right time, or no time.

I have anxiety, For years Ive blamed this on others. The way they make me feel, the situation they put me in, The torment they have put me through. The things they have done to me. But ive learnt not to lay blame. Its ME who has let myself feel this way. I can not control what they do, there actions, but i can control how i deal with it. And im still learning.

I have an eating disorder. Im not anorexic or bulimic, your 'typical' eating disorders , but i do have issues with food. I under eat. Im scared of food, But i eat the wrong foods for the wrong reasons.

And the last one i will keep for a later date. This one im currently dealing with , through the help of an understanding, compassionate and caring fiancée (soon to be hubster in 12 days!) and close family and a select few friends. But, i know, when ive over come this, or at least dealt with those demons, my experience is going to benefit others running my journey.

So, Button Dior-ers! Welcome to the Button you didnt know. This is my life. This is the path ive been chosen to take, i know there is a reason behind it, im just yet to find out.

x N


  1. You know I'm always here my darling. I'm a resource you refuse to tap (for whatever reason) and I really wish you would. I can only offer my help so many times and have it not be taken. I can't make you let me help, but I sincerely wish you would.

  2. Glad to see that Buttons Dior has met a new friend :-) Good luck! Love your honesty *mwah*

  3. I hadn't checked in with your blog in a while and wondered how you were, odd that we both blogged about our dark days in unicent : p
    Love your guts and know we'll get through it!