I'm not one for confrontation, so please don't assume I'm doing this blog entry to start an open argument. Its just something that has been on my mind for a couple of days and now its time to vent..
I was on my way to my ultrasound yesterday when i listened in on a radio segment on Open Relationships.
Scenario- The husband and wife have another woman who lives a distance away from them who comes down every so often to be with both husband and wife. They supposedly have 'gound rules' , But as i say supposedly, when he mentioned the 'ground rules' he didn't sound to convincing on his behalf. He said they will only open, read and look at messages from her when he and his wife are together, they will only meet when there is the 3 of them and they don't speak about her unless they are planning to meet with her. He admitted there were times he would spend time 'alone' with her while the his wife wasn't in the room, but not the other way round.
So, i sat in my car 15 minutes before my appointment putting myself in their shoes.
Mr 25 and i have another woman. She comes down to spend time with us, and then leaves. I'm not sure if .. well actually, I'm positive i would lay next to him that night, eyes wide open wondering what hes thinking, how hes feeling, is he thinking about her? It made me feel ill.
I imagined myself preparing dinner, kids playing nicely, Mr 25 returning home from work, followed half an hour later by 'the other woman' and both of them 'spending time together' in OUR room, before i served up dinner.
By this time i had almost puked on my lap.
I sent Mr 25 a text message.. I explained what i had heard on the radio and how it had effected me.. I got no reply. Which by now had sent me in to a spin. Thoughts of this couple racing through my head.. They have been married for 15 years, Do they have children? Have the children met this other woman? Do they talk openly about her? ... Still waiting for Mr 25's reply.
Now, i believe in freedom of choice, i believe you are your own person and can chose your own path in life. But i also believe I'm allowed my own opinions, Especially if someone is going to be open about the issue. Which in this case they were.
I'm always sharing kisses on the cheek, hugs and touches of affection with close friends but the only thing WE have as a couple, that bonds us are passionate kisses and intercourse. That's something I'm NOT willing to share with another person.
As i sit here chatting away to Mr 25, reading him parts of what I'm writing, I'm realising this post my just cause a bit of a stir with some close friends who are in or have been in open relationships. But this could be a good thing! Comment me, as anonymous if you like, and let me in to your world.
Explain it to me, explain how you accept that the one thing your meant to share with your partner and only your partner, you can openly share with someone else.