Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Keep your hands and your feet to yourself.

Master 4.5 has started prep this year, Id been excited for months and months before he started in February this year. He had been attending Day care / Preschool since he was 10 months old and by 4, he was more the ready. Well so I thought.

His first day was a tad over whelming, with us winning a radio competition. Gold Fm on the Gold Coast picked Mr 25, Master 4.5 and I up and delivered us to his first day of school in the Gold Fm Roadrunner. We won loads of other prizes, and it was a memorable experience for all of us.

There was the usual "Don’t Goooo" and 'Are you coming back?' tears when it was time for us to go, but all in all the morning went well.

At 2pm we get the phone call that Mr 4.5 has had a fall.. A fairly bad fall. So off to school I go to pick him up and what a mess! He had fallen off the playground and messed his face. He looked like he had a shocking Botox job and had been beat up by a group of thugs for it! Not pretty, and very very sore.

But that didn’t stop him from being up at the crack of dawn the next morning, all dressed and ready to brave Prep again.

On the second day we were confronted by his teacher wanting to talk to us about 4.5 hitting other people. I think she saw the sheer horror and shock on my face, so she suggested we talk about it in the following morning.

Good Idea.. I wanted to have a serious chat to my boy!

4.5 had never EVER laid a hand on anyone. Not even to his sister who gives him 'what for' several times a day!

He didn’t really have a good answer for it, only that he was trying to stop the other 2 children from fighting.

That’s where 'You must keep your hands and feet to yourself' came about.

We would repeat this over and over. Whether it was him putting his feet on his sister while they were laying down or taking something away that’s not his.

Nothing more was said about the hitting incident until now. His teacher has said he’s done it again. This time to 2 people. And he’s been placed on lock down (no lunch play time) for 2 days. One for each child.

I’m devastated! This isn’t my boy!

4.5 is the youngest in his class and one of the youngest in his school. Is he was born 3 days later he would have started Prep next year. Along with alot of his friends.

So I assumed, he was having a rough time making friends, and thought 'fighting' would be a way of attracting attention.

I just sat down with him and asked him to tell me in his own words, why he feels it’s Ok to lay a hand on another person.

It took us a while, but I think understand him now. He's not right, but I understand him.

The boy he ‘hit’, he actually pushed hard on his leg, not hit. And it was to get his attention because he wouldn’t talk to him. Still, not a good thing to do to someone.

And the girl he pushed, he said he elbowed in the chest while he was wiping down the tables after lunch. He said he didn’t realise she was behind him and when he turned around she copped his elbow.

I’m not making excuses for him AT all.. And I’m going to get him to explain this to the teacher tomorrow when we meet with her.

I’m still just not sure how to deal with this. So far I’ve told him that this week I’m taking away his tuckshop privileges and if this happens again, then he loses his channels on the TV (play house Disney) and the Xbox in the lounge room, that he is allowed to play when his sister isn’t home. And that scared the crapola out of him!

Any advice would be great, if anyone has been through this.. I’m all ears!

x N

1 comment:

  1. I've had to deal with this with Kaleb a few times. I had it worse off because his Dad was telling him that if someone hurt him, to hurt them back. He didn't understand that you can't tell children that! So any time a child even teased Kaleb he'd hit them, coz to him the teasing hurt...see he doesn't understand! This was before we knew he had ASD but even then I knew he wouldn't get the concept...but telling his Dad anything is like talking to a brick wall. Anyhoo, I was called to the principals office so many times and he put in detention so many times that in the end I had to explain to Kaleb the theory of doing unto others. He wouldn't appreciated people treating him that way so why is he doing it to others? He actually caught onto that concept really well, he calls it karma...coz it's kind of the same and I told him that the only time it's acceptable to physically harm someone is when he has no other choice. Eg he has to hit them in order to get away, or he feels his life is in danger. There are no other excuses and if he does it again I'll be extremely disappointed (he really hates to disappoint me). I also said I loved him dearly but I didn't recognise him as the son I'd raised and that made him cry, fervently promising he'd never do it again. So far this year he hasn't had one detention or even one problem with fighting. I think I go through to him. I hope something I've rambled on about here will help you Nic xxxx